I cannot forget, i mustnot forget!

I cannot forget!
I am worried that tonight i will go down to watch television with my family but i'll slip back into being happy when underneath it isn't really like that.
I am upset that dad doesn't care about me and won't speak to me but he shows great concern for the other two? Grandad acts like another parent and taunts and thinks he has a right to tell me what to do when he won't do the chores on HIS day! Hello? but did i ask you for you're say? Correct me if i am wrong, but this isn't your house and it's none of your business!
Today the girl who coined me the self obsessed bitch joined the debating team. This confused me seeing as this girl hates getting up and talking in front of people. I wonder if she is doing this despite me? I don't care i just don't want to see her.
I also had NAPLAN prac tests all day which was absolutely super! (sarcastic)
On the bus i saw this totally hot guy but then i saw him walk up to this slag from a public school. I think it was Cromer? And pash her. The girl had to be in year 12 with massive make up and piercings and a ciggarette hanging from her hands.
Then as if to top it all off i was waiting in the rain for sister number 2 to hurry up and meet with me for dad to come and pick us up. By 10 past 4 she comes along with another girl who rides with us and says, "Come on, where gonna catch a bus!" and turns around and walks another way.
My reasons for not liking this plan
1. Dad will be here in 15 minutes
2. We don't know what time the bus goes or where it is
3. Dad doesn't know about this plan and he's coming our way anyway
4. I didn't know about this plan.
So anyway i tell her all this and she's like "Just because you had a bad day, don't take it out a=on everybody else, you stay here and we'll go and get the bus!"
We get to the bus stop and find that it leaves at 4:35, by this time we could already be in the car.
Everyone is pissed with the smart one. Build a bridge and get over it.

I cannot forget the reasons why my piss poor family is driving me to the point of tears.

Am i not pretty enough?

Went back to school today....
It was awful. I'll admit that i am a little bit self centered. When i plonk myself down at lunch, i fill the awkward silences and when we speak about something, i admit that a lot of the time i relate it to personal experiences or i chatter on and on cause i am excited.
Today i heard that a lot of them think i am a self obsessed, self centered bitch. So i felt a little self conscious of that and then they all asked me if something was wrong.
I went to drama that afternoon and there's this cute british guy there, in the year above me. He hits on my friend a lot because she's funny, they're cracking jokes all the time, but of course, i have to be the one with morales and respect so i pay attention and then of course theres the fact that i am not funny, really, i cannot crack a joke without stopping half way through it, getting confused and having to start again.
I eventually gave up. This totally hot guy already thinks i am a no nothing loser. "Am i too outspoken, don't i make you laugh?"
Today we live in a society where all teenagers think that being smart is uncool and standing out and voicing your opinions is way too "goodie goodie teachers pet" Like for instance wth my group, they pay me out all the time and say things like "It's gay" and "who cares" or "what for"

Then, the cherry on top of today, dad came home only to talk of how great sister number 3 is going tennis. He loves to watch her. Him and sister number 2 always joke around like they have this inside joke they tell no one about. I have nothing. At my drama theatre comp he sat in the audience and gave me these faces, like, "How much longer!"
I got into the finals and he said he couldn't turn up. Is it because i don't play a sport? "I try as hard as i can"
Maybe it's not enough?

or maybe i should stop talking about myself and talk about the footy score, or maybe Richard Pratt's death, or maybe human issues like poverty in third world countries, would that make everyone happy?

unappreciated

Today my sister and my mum went into the city to see a dance and she told mum last night that she had picked out her outfit. So, of course she didn't and when she wore the clothes this morning they had chocolate on it, they were crinkled and mum threw an absolute fit. I jumped out of bed, made a mess of my own room and hers trying to find the perfect outfit and eventually did it with fifteen minutes to spare. I straighten her hair, then add corkscrew curls through it. I put on a touch of blush and mascara to her face and she's off. Mum screams, "be a help and hang the washing out." I replied "Ah help? Gosh that's something new!"
Then as she leaves, it's not a thanks for doing this today, it's "where are my god damn keys, look for them will you!"
I took my other sister to the movies today and i bought her some popcorn and made the day about her.
No thankyou's at all, not from anyone of them.
I am not saying i wouldn't have done it, but just once it would be nice to feel appreciated. Both of my sisters (dressed by moi) looked great and i always to what mum says and i get left at home. She takes sister number 2 to a dance in the city and i am stuck at home. She takes sister 3 to the park with her friends and i am stuck at home.

I cleaned out my room today aswell, i felt like it was just something i had to do. I came downstairs feeling accomplished and saw dad and sister number 3 playing computer games together. Have i forgotten all the times when dad and i had time together or was it just never there. I know i am a little bit older now, but we just don't talk, do anything. It makes me feel sad because i feel like even though i get on with my parents most of the time and our family does things together, i don't have much of a relationship.

It's not that i'm expecting any kind of appreciation or acknowledgement...It just would be nice, a change.

Movies i get, people however are a different story

You know after seeing my friend at my local shops today i found out that she is also not speaking to that drunk friend i have, who used to be my best friend. jess wants nothing to do with her aswell. Which is means that i am not the only person who feels the same way. It's so sad that someone with as much potential as my 'slowly going downhill' friend drinks away her life. But it is her decision.
But that wasn't really what i wanted to talk about. The folks are all going off to see this band tonight and so all the kids are coming to our place. I havan't seen one of the kids for a while, he's my age and he's an asshole who used to give me a lot of shit at school so i thought tonight i could show him how much i have changed but of course he says to his stupid parents "i'm too tired, just say hi for me" Bullshit! Now what am i gonna do for the entire night???
Hide, that's what i am gonna do. I am going to watch a movie in my room and steal the starbursts.
People are so confusing, some are plain stupid others are mindless idiots.

Don't get me wrong there are a lot of nice people out there but others are well, mindless nimrods

sincererly a pissed off rock chick

The Patriot

I have always had a love for films...
I don't really know what it is, i don't particuarly like all films, but here are some that i just adore!
. The Patriot - Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger
. Lethal Weapon - Danny Glover, Mel Gibson
. Taken - Liam Neeson
. Remember the Titans - Denzel Washington
. The 6th sense - Bruce Willis, Hayley joel Osment
. Beverly Hills Cop - Eddie Murphy
. Conspiracy Theory - Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts
. Die Hard - Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman
. 17 again - Zac Efron (this movie looks a little out of place among these ones but anyways...)

So as you can probably tell, i am entranced with the work by Mel Gibson. The way he acts is just phenomenal! Maybe i love the movies so much because i wish i was working alongside actors like Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis. Maybe it's because everything is so much clearer and excititng in the films. I don't know. they just seem to capture me and make me watch. I love that.

I watched the Patriot for the first time last night and it had to be have been the longest film i have ever watched besides harry Potter but it was also one of the best because it was an amazing flim about the Independence war when America declared Independence. I had just finished watching the lethal weapon and he acts as like a suicidal maniac but you can also see his attempt to cover that throughtout the movie with this bravado act. So to see him playing this serious character was a shock but he did it so well, the part where his youngest daughter Susan starts speaking while he's away and when he comes back she is angry with him so as he bends down to hug her before he goes she backs away and the pain that rippled across his face was just heartwrenching. Then as he backs away he tries to cover it up and gets on his horse, Susan starts to cry and then screams "Papa, Papa. What do you want me to say..." as she runs toward him, he jumps off the horse and scoops her up.. It was really brilliant.

You know, i think i could become a movie critic. That would be a cool job

"if i could turn back time"

I wish i could turn back the clock...
Go back and do it over, transform myself to become someone assertive, gorgeous, outspoken, happy. Have it over again and take more risks and be more confident, you know?
This is so ridiculous, i can't even see a movie anymore without feeling totally depressed!
I am angry with everything. The fact that my grandpa is living with us, he isn't family! Family are people who are there for you, who don't forget.

The movie got me thinking though, Zac made quite a life for himslef. If i had the chance, i would too, but being in the land of no opportunity i really can't make my mark. Being a budding actress is really difficult. I am like this tiny fish in not just a pond but the entire ocean. I am going to grow up wishing and the end up as a fat cat lady but with no cats, you know?

I just don't have anyone i can really connect with and i guess that's why i am always on the look out for the knight in shining armour, my Edward Cullen, Mr Right...all that kind of thing.
I just want to be able to talk to someone, i want someone to think the world of me that isn't a family member, someone to give me the respect i think i deserve.
I sound like such a sucker so we're gonna forget i ever said any of that
when i talk about respect, i don't mean this, today i was honked at twice by guys three times my age, staring at my chest! Honeslty, get a life!
I feel so cheap when things like that happen, for gods sake, i was wearing jeans, a tee shirt and a jacket! Really sexy, honestly

I feel like i could drown.

Waiting on the world to change

Such true words...
Honestly, i look on the world with such a sad face at times, the twin towers falling, racist jokes, 'F*CK' is used frequently in sentences, the economic crisis, the woman with 14 children under the of 5 with no partner and no income, the war against Iraq etc. It's only getting worse!
So i try and remember this when my problems arise
Mum was just hammering on about how my skin looks at the moment and how irresponsible, lazy and selfish i am and when i finally realise it will be too late. She said
"I cannot wait for a boy to come up to you and say'" You're skin is poxy bitch"'
Okay, i have always had skin issues, but it really isn't that abd at the moment, just a few sores on my arms, you should have seen it when i was a kid! mum gets worried i suppose but you know i just wish she would leave me alone sometimes!
I don't know, sometimes i wish that my parents could see me at school as the total opposite, i wish that my dad could look at me with pride in his eyes rather than disgust, you know?
I feel like he neglects me a lot, like when he looks at my younger sisters, he holds their hands and plays games with them and talks to them. It's not like that with us at all.
I mean, he gives me a lot more privay than my mum does but it's like we don't talk, besides the odd
"how was your day" there will be the rare moment where he actually talks to me but they don't come around very often and it makes me sad. Have i done something along the way that upset him, is it because i have gotten too old for that now? I just don't understand.
So, i bring it back to this, in a previous posting i wrote about how we should be given an instruction manual as to how we are supposed to live, what we'll enccounter and what to do to avoid trouble and confliction and confusion. But that would destroy the purpose of living life your own way and establishing your own destiny...
This life makes no sense to me

"I'd lie"

"If you ask me if i love him, I'd lie"
Taylor Swifts song, I'd lie. Her songs aren't the best but her lyrics are pretty cool. I can sing OK but not like fantastic. Average. But i wish i could dance, dancing is so much more graceful and beautiful. My sister who is younger can dance really well, and i am so not being bias. She has won every comp she has entered and when she starts to move to the music, my voice catches in my throat, she just seems to float across the stage.
But when it comes to contemporary or lyrical she just smiles, i mean her smile lights up the room but when it comes to those type of dances she needs to feel the music, dance the lyrics, you know?
Like acting, you can tell when an actor is not in the character, the acting looks fake. It's hard to explain but an actor can't just pretend to be a character, the actor needs to become the character or it looks unbelievabel. Like, say there is an angry teenage girl, the actress needs to feel those emotions and thoughts to be able to make the acting look real.
Same with dancing really, i mean, if the music is say "Farewell - Rosie Thomas" you cannot be smiling at the audience, you need to feel what the singer is describing and let the music take you.
My other sister is a sport freak, cannot stop moving, plays tennis, soccer, runs etc. It's funny how we are all different. I wish i was a sport person, guys always say how sexy it is to see a girl playing soccer.
AHHHH. I had to be the Theatre/stage/academic type then didn't i!
Life is so unfair, you know?

Feeling deep

You will not believe what just happened...
I just got that job at the cafe, apparantely the guy was very impressed by my handwriting and my people skills. Huh? what do you know?
Not meaning to sound vain, but i look kinda good today, not that i look ugly but today i feel pretty which is important. I'm wearing this woolen brown dress with a pink tie and skinny jeans, with my brown hair straightened and pink lipgloss.
I can't understand sometimes, if i look as pretty as i feel than why doesn't anyone notice me? is it because every cute, understanding, funny and romantic guy is taken or am i oblivious and too picky. I am at a complete and utter loss to understand why my ex best friend can score a guy and she is a drunk? Maybe i am too safe and not rebel enough.
My whole life i have been known as kind of a goodie two shoes. Which i'm not really. I mean, i take a lot of pride in my work and i try to be the best i can be and enter into everything just to try it out, but then i am bagged out about it, like all the guys at my primary would call me a freak but really i just wasn't interested in making out at lunch times...but maybe i should have been.
I swear, when the adults tell you that being a teenager is the best time of your life they are seriously kidding themselves, i mean, who knew it could be so confusing.
I guess, i make a pretty big deal out of the whole 'being single' thing but really, all i have ever wanted is someone to listen, really listen and be there for me. Not that my friends don't do any of that, but i want someone to love me who isn't a family member or a girlfriend. I really want it. I'm not one of those people who just like to pick up a guy and then drop him again after the steam has cooled.
I feel sad when i think that maybe i might end up like my aunt, alone with three dogs and 8 horses in the country.
I can't be like that, i would die first! No offence intended, but it just isn't me. I want people to remember my name for years to come, whether it's because i end up as the prime minister or a famous criminologist or the worlds best director since Clint Eastwood.

You know how you see in the Romantic movies, the girl is in danger but the guy and he keeps her safe etc. Well, i want to be protected, not from a monster or anything but i want that sense of security, but who knows, maybe i am blowing this way out of proportion. Like all my friends keep trying to drag me to the school dances but i don't want random guys feeling me up, pashing me and then leaving, i want a guy to like me for who i am, not for my rack, you know what i mean?

Ok, you know what, i'm gonna stop right there or i could go on forever.

Love Miss Romantic
xxx

Waiting to be noticed...

I had this performance on last night and i fell hard...
This guy, he isn't just hot this time, he's honest and has this smile that makes me heart melt in my chest. He's not afraid to be himself and he's so nice to me. I can be my self around him.
The one itsy bitsy dilema is that he is taken.
What could i possibly do for him to really nottice me? I'm the girl behind the curls remember?
It's easy to flirt and try not to look too available, but that doesn't mean he is looking at me does it.
He said that i was sexy yesterday...This is getting ridiculous, i mean i was up all of last night trying to decide whether i should meet up with him and tell him exactly how i feel and that i don't expect a return of the same feelings. But how unfair would that be to the both of us, considering that he is already practically engaged to this other girl. They've been together for so long it's crazy.
I called a friend in the morning to ask her advice and she just reckons to wait it out and it will pay off.
I'm not sure, what if he likes me too, even just a little???? ahhh this is so hard!!!

Whatever, "you'll be here in my heart....always"

Red lipstick and black polish

Day in the life of a goth.
Well, for all you goths out there, i can totally understand why you're upset a lot. Being goth is hard work! The nails, the eyes, the clothes.
I have this theatre sports comp tonight and my group is dressed as goths and let me tell you that being goth so desn't suit me. I have blonde hair and take a fancy to flowers for godsakes!
But i must admit, the black thing is kinda sexy...
okay straying from the topic here.
I am really pumped, dad has promised to take us up to Jindabyne for the weekend. We have a flat up there, it's like our home away from home. I have been skiing for as long as i can remember and it comes so easy, like breathing.
But lately breathing has become difficult, like everything. The mothership is stressed out and it's holidays! Dad is working again and it's holidays!!!!
I am really glad we are going to the snow, although, being the middle of Autumn, the snow is M.I.A. But surely the season will be better this year, god knows it has been so cold lately!

Goth is hardwork.
Being true will bring back my breath...hopefully

Home and away

Literally...
For the last 4 days i have been in the country with relatives and i swear that i almost went crazy. One of her horses, Jimmy coughed all night and his mother, Jessie, whinnied over his coughs. Sandy and Nerrace galloped around and the other four were out of hearing distance...ahhhh!
Just got home again and let me just say how good it feels.
While we were out there i had the most intense and strange dreams, like this one where...well, you probably do not want to know, all i will say is that involved easter eggs, the scum head Zac Efron and my primary school...Hmmm, jesus that is so bizare. The mothership went with dad to Nelsons bay and they had a really good time by themselves but here we are at home and the cats have piddled on the floor and mum is yelling...hmmm...maybe it's just this house?
I have eaten so much chocolate over the weekend that my skin is blotchy and red...Very hot!
Sometimes i wish we could float on a cloud and watch over those we miss but are too afraid to do anything about. Sometimes i wish we had our own personal invisibility cloak.

Man, do i need a severe reality check!

Sincerely,
the girl who needs to get her head out of the clouds.

"..Feeling like such a mess.."

Those words exactly...
It's been like this for a week, i'm only what, 15? and i feel sad, sad and upset. Now that school is done for the term i am unable to escape to school. Home is like the living dead and i feel like i have this pool of bubbling acid in my stomach. I go into the country tomorrow. maybe the bubbling will go away once i'm there and be replaced with itchy eyes and sneezing fits.
Maybe, it's that i feel like i have a multiple personality disorder. Like at school everyone sees me as the perfect, pretty good girl, but at home it's so different. Here, i'm a lazy shit that has nothing better to do with her time than assignments.
Nobody has any real idea, maybe that's the whole idea. But no body will listen to me even for a moment, the moment i try there eyes glaze over like that lake in Canada that people skate aross in the winter.
I am so tired of trying.

A girl could truly wait forever.

School's out baby!

Had the day off today....
What more can i say....

I feel free!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bisous
xoxo

Hello, right here

Ok, well had a really bad day today...
Had so much stuff on to do with the SRC and then i had wednesday sport which comes right after 3a so i had to rush off to get the bus, so of course i forgot to hand something in and today was the last day i was going to school, so mums like "You have to go to school now blah blah blah..." I mean, i will just email the teacher or get dad to drive past the bus stop and give it to Ashlea.
But then she goes on saying how much of a screw up i am and yells all this crap when i say "That's enough" and she jjust looks at me like what did you just say. and i said i just didn't get any time to give it to him, so i will email him, and then she says i don't care, you're so unorganized etc...
It's just ridiculous. And i have had enough of being totally unnticed for all the stuff i do purely to make them proud. They don't give a shit and i'm tired of trying.

Feeling betrayed

Stay clear!

OMFG.....
As much as i love hanging with Soph ( a friend, who is just about to start on her L's) i am hungry and i have a ton of fricking fracking homework to do so i was already annoyed that we spent over an hour watching my sister have a BALLET LESSON. God, if she had to do any dance, why ballet????? Anyways when we got home i had so much stuff to get into the house that i asked my sister to help get a few of my books out of the car she groaned and got out and left me to get it all, hello, was it really that hard when all she was carrying was a hand bag?
So by the time i got into the house i was fuming and then the old man (my grandpa) who is currently livivng with us cause he needs to pay off his mortgage and can't get a job where he lives says "Are you a crnaky bum today" with this patronizing smile. And that almost about did it.
Anyone who lives with me already knows to cool it when im angry and his little comment just made me snap! I mean who is he to tell me this? He barely even spoke to us until he needed our house, one of our rooms, our food...
It never used to get to me this much but it has started to lately as he touches the radio, makes us late for the bus, eats our food and acts as another parent.

Sincerely
a very pissed off hormonal teenager

Maybe, a little less political

Tonight i gave this speech about how America is needed and the whole fiasco with George Bush ruined America and he made bad choices etc. I think it was a little too full on casue all the other people made speeches on schools, moments in time, organ diseases and the stolen generation. Mum reckons i need to be more true to myself and speak from the heart rather than the newspaper. I think she's right. Maybe next time i'll add a little humour or an inside joke...? Hmmmm
I have decided that school homeowk was designed to torture us and make us squirm.. I mean just beacuse these teachers have no life they want us all to have no life along with them. I am up to my arm pits in homework and i know what you're probably thinking.."why did you leave it so long?" I didn't, they were practically put on me this week, yeah for 3 days before holidays. Slackers!
Well, i have to stop now consdiering all that work i have yet to do
My god, give us a break, we're all bending over backwards to finish it all on time

A sense of belonging

School today was...well, not exactly fun....
I had an amazing day yesterday where me and a couple of friends (not in the group i sit with at school) went around the beaches, over huge boulders and talked about..well, girly things. It was so nice with the B'day girls family surrounding the table sharing hilarious family stories and then we went to the park and took pics. It was a great evening.
Today, however was not so great. The group i sit with, everyone hates at least another girl in the group! They talk about the wierdest stuff and whenever i go to talk about this cute guy i saw at the bus stop or this killer band i just heard of, its "Right...so anyway, see that food arangement in her lunchbox..?" It's ridiculous that now i am too worried to bring anything up that i might like to talk about in case they turn their noses down at my suggestion. That group is not where i belong, i need to sit somewhere else, with people that actually get together during the holidays and over the weekend.. Oh god, it is gonna be so hard when they ask, why do you sit with the Elles group now?"
I've been avoiding one of my good friends all day today cause....well, she told me not to join the Mag committee this year and i agreed, but when i went to tell the librarian that, she kinda guilt tripped me into it and then gave me chocolate so i said...yes.
Why oh why do i do this. The teachers totally know i am a sucker and they just know i will say yes. I've tried the black nail polish to kind of freak them out but no such luck so far.

sincerely the girl who can't keep her trap shut!

Bacon and Eggs with funny toast

I have this great English friend who once told me a joke....
It was centered around jaffels, and as he went on i thought to myself, what the hell are jaffels, is that what they call jaffas in English. But then he began to speak of ham and cheese jaffels and i thought, how on earth do you get ham and cheese jaffas? Isn't the choc one enough?
But as he explained it, I felt so stupid, It's another word for Toast in England.
I need to remember to ask him where he was born, after all, my grandad and my mum were born in Loughborour England.
This morning i had funny 'jaffels' with all these seeds in them and mum loves it. However the rest of the family cannot stand multigrain bread...you know what, she also puts mushrooms all through the stroganoff and claims they were in the sauce, when she knows that the rest of us hate them and have to pick them out.
When you think about it, it's kinda selfish when all she has to do is put her mushrooms on her own plate at the end. Or is that laziness?
I'm not one to judge or criticize when i expect we all do something similar.

Favourtie line of the day - 'USWIM' ('Lock and Key')

Did you get the manuscript?

A few days ago i had religion class....
I don't know how you picture it but at my school the teacher basically tries to explain the importance of letting god into your life.
Then she talks about how everyone has a purpose and everyone has to live a certain way.
I leave the room feeling depressed and de-energized. I mean, where was my manuscript that told me what to do? I still am not sure of what path i want to take, what road i want to follow and her telling me that i have a purpose? Which is what, what if i don't have one?

It also leaves me feeling frustrated and annoyed because how can you please everyone when everyone has different opinions of how you should live. Do you follow common sense or (truly corny but whatever) what your heart is saying to you?

Please, if anyone did receive some kind of information on how to live their lives and take the ride smoothly and without a hitch. let me know.
although, in saying this. That's not life.Isn't life about making mistakes and then learning from them? or is that just what they teach you in those wacky life lessons?

Added pressure

This will sound so immature, but i am going to say it anyway because am i not like any ordianry teenage girl?....
I met the cutest boy at this debating seminar and then i saw him again at my local shops and all i want is for him to notice me, notice the kind girl behind the spiral curls that only hide the assertive person i wish to be.
One of my good friends is really assertive and has the guys putty in her hands but i can't seem to take on this skill...
I was only thinking yesterday about this idea my friend put in my head. The Gypsy Girl. Wouldn't that be cool to be a gypsy? To move around place to place and experience the world but the more i thought about it, where's the security of an actual home and family.
Friends are every where but you can't pick and choose your family. My mums side of the family is aways o'er at christmas though we really aren't close at all. It's just polite chatter to fill the silence.
Only 10 minutes ago we had dinner and dad launched into the fact that my life is tipping dangerously. Work is taking over and my life is becoming unbalanced. I don't know if he's noticed but i really don't have time for rec. I have so much to do, things to plan for school and to study for. I am looking into a lot of things and then he said that i need to take on more responsibility around the house. is he deaf? I have so much on and now he wants me to do more work???
I wil be found tomorrow morning with worn out brain splattered all over the walls from my head exploding.
I can't wait for the holidays, this is when we get away to the country, just me and my two sisters while my parents get a few days to themselves.
I feel sick with all this added pressure.

Better left unsaid

Woke up this morning...
Felt a headache coming on, knowing i have a mountain of treacherous homework awaiting me, but dad has come in, even though he hasn't said anything yet, i know exactly what he's about to say next.
"You need to clean your room, the bathroom, have breakfast and vaccuum the stairs". Fair enough, i mean the house needs to stay clean...but this happend every weekend and we spend all weekend cleanig it for my mum so she doesn't come home stressed to a slightly unlclean house.
I am so tired and i woul just love to say something. Telling them how i truly feel on issues that are bothering me but the moment i do, a fight will erupt and to be honest. I cannot deal with it today.
I am tired. I was reading this book where the main girl is leaving behind her home and friends but all her best friend can talk about is her life and how she will feel about not having her friend there to listen to her. The main character leaves feeling like she is never heard, her friend makes her feel plain and unimportant. She is always there for her friend, but when it came down to it, who would be there for her.
It really got me thinking about a lot of things like who do i really count on?
Maybe some questions don't get answers?
Maybe some things are better left unspoken?

The girl behind the curls

Rewind to 3 years ago...
3 years ago i was sitting at home with nothing to worry about. I had my best friend who i could always count on and my mum was more relaxed and my dad wasn't so worried about the simplest things. 3 years ago i had the ability to actually say the word "No".
As the years have passed these things have seemed to evaporate just like those perfect summer days where the weather it just perfect.
Fast forward 3 years....
My so called 'best friend' is an underage alcholic and my parents have never been so uptight, and as for me, well, i'm just trying to get it right.
I am in the public speaking class, debating, choir, school musical, SRC and the school magazine. It's not exactly that i like to be in all these things. For one, i simply do not have the time, but when those teahers come and ask me to sign up, i just nod and say yes when i should have said no. It's genetic, and it's kinda weird, considering i am a drama student (and quite a good one if i may be so bold to add) and i can't think of one excuse to get myself out of the tricky corner before i sign the contract.

I'm in grade 9 and i suppose it's pretty young to be thinking in the grand scheme og things but then again, nobody could possibly understand how much i take on.

I love movies (the good ones) like 'Taken', 'Die Hard' and the ones like 'The shawshank redemption' and 'Forest Gump' etc. My three electives at school are Drama, french and extension history. I also love music. Honestly, i don't know how people get by without it. Music always seems to be there when no one else is.

I never thought about blogging before until i saw this movie where it seemed to help her get her message across, not that i have a direct message. But if i did have a message, i'd have to go with this one. "Give you're parents a break every now and again, they're doing the best they can."