Feeling deep

You will not believe what just happened...
I just got that job at the cafe, apparantely the guy was very impressed by my handwriting and my people skills. Huh? what do you know?
Not meaning to sound vain, but i look kinda good today, not that i look ugly but today i feel pretty which is important. I'm wearing this woolen brown dress with a pink tie and skinny jeans, with my brown hair straightened and pink lipgloss.
I can't understand sometimes, if i look as pretty as i feel than why doesn't anyone notice me? is it because every cute, understanding, funny and romantic guy is taken or am i oblivious and too picky. I am at a complete and utter loss to understand why my ex best friend can score a guy and she is a drunk? Maybe i am too safe and not rebel enough.
My whole life i have been known as kind of a goodie two shoes. Which i'm not really. I mean, i take a lot of pride in my work and i try to be the best i can be and enter into everything just to try it out, but then i am bagged out about it, like all the guys at my primary would call me a freak but really i just wasn't interested in making out at lunch times...but maybe i should have been.
I swear, when the adults tell you that being a teenager is the best time of your life they are seriously kidding themselves, i mean, who knew it could be so confusing.
I guess, i make a pretty big deal out of the whole 'being single' thing but really, all i have ever wanted is someone to listen, really listen and be there for me. Not that my friends don't do any of that, but i want someone to love me who isn't a family member or a girlfriend. I really want it. I'm not one of those people who just like to pick up a guy and then drop him again after the steam has cooled.
I feel sad when i think that maybe i might end up like my aunt, alone with three dogs and 8 horses in the country.
I can't be like that, i would die first! No offence intended, but it just isn't me. I want people to remember my name for years to come, whether it's because i end up as the prime minister or a famous criminologist or the worlds best director since Clint Eastwood.

You know how you see in the Romantic movies, the girl is in danger but the guy and he keeps her safe etc. Well, i want to be protected, not from a monster or anything but i want that sense of security, but who knows, maybe i am blowing this way out of proportion. Like all my friends keep trying to drag me to the school dances but i don't want random guys feeling me up, pashing me and then leaving, i want a guy to like me for who i am, not for my rack, you know what i mean?

Ok, you know what, i'm gonna stop right there or i could go on forever.

Love Miss Romantic
xxx