Waiting on the world to change

Such true words...
Honestly, i look on the world with such a sad face at times, the twin towers falling, racist jokes, 'F*CK' is used frequently in sentences, the economic crisis, the woman with 14 children under the of 5 with no partner and no income, the war against Iraq etc. It's only getting worse!
So i try and remember this when my problems arise
Mum was just hammering on about how my skin looks at the moment and how irresponsible, lazy and selfish i am and when i finally realise it will be too late. She said
"I cannot wait for a boy to come up to you and say'" You're skin is poxy bitch"'
Okay, i have always had skin issues, but it really isn't that abd at the moment, just a few sores on my arms, you should have seen it when i was a kid! mum gets worried i suppose but you know i just wish she would leave me alone sometimes!
I don't know, sometimes i wish that my parents could see me at school as the total opposite, i wish that my dad could look at me with pride in his eyes rather than disgust, you know?
I feel like he neglects me a lot, like when he looks at my younger sisters, he holds their hands and plays games with them and talks to them. It's not like that with us at all.
I mean, he gives me a lot more privay than my mum does but it's like we don't talk, besides the odd
"how was your day" there will be the rare moment where he actually talks to me but they don't come around very often and it makes me sad. Have i done something along the way that upset him, is it because i have gotten too old for that now? I just don't understand.
So, i bring it back to this, in a previous posting i wrote about how we should be given an instruction manual as to how we are supposed to live, what we'll enccounter and what to do to avoid trouble and confliction and confusion. But that would destroy the purpose of living life your own way and establishing your own destiny...
This life makes no sense to me