Today this man came to our school, his names is Nick Vujicic. The awe inspiring man with no limbs.
Our Religion teacher spoke non stop about him and after watching a little bit about him i decided that i would go to the hall at lunch and see him speak. I am not a highly religious person, though i would desperately like to believe that there is someone out there watching over us.
When he first got up, he joked around and he was really funny. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. Then when he spoke for the first time about his lack of limbs, he looked confident yet i still felt he had this lurking sadness underneath it all.
He began to tell us about how he would be taunted and teased relentlessly and all it took was one person to tell him how nice he was and he started to feel better.
He went on to say how we are our own people, that we shouldn't care about what other people say and that we must never discourage someone because you are taking someones courage away, you are taking away their strength to live.
He spoke about how we should never tease becuase we don't know what is going on in that persons life and we might be the last person to push them over the edge. We can choose to become a killer or a saver.
We are loved, we are beautiful and we don't need the sex, the alcohol, the money, the drugs and the posers to help us get ride of our pains and weaknesses because none of that will heal a broken heart. We don't need a boyfriend for us to be strong. If someone truly loves you, they will always wait for you.
Tears just slid down my cheeks as i was filled with all this really strong emotion.
I got up at the end i hugged him so hard, i told him how greatful i was. He looked at me and told me he loved me. I started to cry again and he just let me hug him again. Then i ran.
And i have been thinking. All this time i look up to people like the amazing Mel Gibson and Taylor Swift. yes, they were both amazing, but were they amazing people. I don't know.
This man who gets by everyday and insists on saving people and letting young people like myself know that we will be ok and that when we fall the only thing we can do is to get back up and take things one step at a time.
He is the ideal role of a leader, of a true role model.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sleepover at the zoo
Ok so to be right up front, i am not a nature kind of person.
Being over night at the zoo is not really my idea of fun but it was kinda ok.
i decided to make up with the girl i have been ignoring, not because i like her or because i feel better about her constant bitching about me behind my back but i am so sick of the constant death stares.
I walked up to her in front of everybody, hoping this would be safer and said "Alayna.."
and she gave me this look that could have turned the happiest person's insides to liquids and said "I don't want to talk to you right now"
Ok so i will admit that i started this but she keeps telling everyone how she wished i would just talk to her and i finally did and she has turned ice bitch. People have also been telling me how guilty she has been feeling well obviously that it is not true either. God...I actually think that Alayna is just scared to back down, well i guess i kind of pity her in a way.
I am just glad i have some really good friends. I owe them the world
Had to babysit those kids again today and i got thrown up on. I just love kids, really!
Mum has decided to go all anti-privacy and dad has clued in on the fact that my bad moods only happen at home. Grandad shouldn't be here and i am tired as hell so i think i may sign off and go to bed....after i have watched Supernatural
xox
Being over night at the zoo is not really my idea of fun but it was kinda ok.
i decided to make up with the girl i have been ignoring, not because i like her or because i feel better about her constant bitching about me behind my back but i am so sick of the constant death stares.
I walked up to her in front of everybody, hoping this would be safer and said "Alayna.."
and she gave me this look that could have turned the happiest person's insides to liquids and said "I don't want to talk to you right now"
Ok so i will admit that i started this but she keeps telling everyone how she wished i would just talk to her and i finally did and she has turned ice bitch. People have also been telling me how guilty she has been feeling well obviously that it is not true either. God...I actually think that Alayna is just scared to back down, well i guess i kind of pity her in a way.
I am just glad i have some really good friends. I owe them the world
Had to babysit those kids again today and i got thrown up on. I just love kids, really!
Mum has decided to go all anti-privacy and dad has clued in on the fact that my bad moods only happen at home. Grandad shouldn't be here and i am tired as hell so i think i may sign off and go to bed....after i have watched Supernatural
xox
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Motherhood
aujourd'hui...(today....)
Today i had like the most boring classes and it was a pretty dull day but i picked up another Jodi Piccoult book so thats good.
Then this arvo i went to my neighbours and was babysitting her kids in return for tutoring lessons. This probably won't come as a suprise to you but i'll tell you anyway. I hate kids, infact i am terrified of them and so this arvo, mostly evrything was ok until the 7 month one started to scream and cry and i was doing all that i could and then the other one (3 years) went off aswell. The dad took the three year old away and bathed him while i held the screaming one that was drooling all over my knee.
When i finally got out of there i was so scared and stressed beyond belief
I was walking around thinking there is no freaking way i will ever become a mother ever!
I think maybe i will just pay instead. Thats how bad i am with kids.
Dinner with grandpa now (YAY...not)
God why the hell is he still here?
Sincerely, the girl who needs to get away.
Today i had like the most boring classes and it was a pretty dull day but i picked up another Jodi Piccoult book so thats good.
Then this arvo i went to my neighbours and was babysitting her kids in return for tutoring lessons. This probably won't come as a suprise to you but i'll tell you anyway. I hate kids, infact i am terrified of them and so this arvo, mostly evrything was ok until the 7 month one started to scream and cry and i was doing all that i could and then the other one (3 years) went off aswell. The dad took the three year old away and bathed him while i held the screaming one that was drooling all over my knee.
When i finally got out of there i was so scared and stressed beyond belief
I was walking around thinking there is no freaking way i will ever become a mother ever!
I think maybe i will just pay instead. Thats how bad i am with kids.
Dinner with grandpa now (YAY...not)
God why the hell is he still here?
Sincerely, the girl who needs to get away.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Not coping...
Today was not good at all...
It starts off with me arriving at school early and seeing a friend (who aint a friend any more) hanging out with the bitch who is making me look like a horrible bitch. I feel sick when i think about how all those people think of me as a reject now. Dad and mum aren't talking to me because i was so cold shoulder last night. I am not coping well with the fact that i don't have enough on to be noticed, my drama doesn't require a parent always there and public speaking is over etc. They only ever speak about my sisters and how great they are. They don't include me in any conversations. NObody asks me how my day was but when it comes to my sisters it's the opposite. Then my school having this sleepover at the zoo and we all need a buddy and mine is my BF, but she let me know this morning that she will be in the Blue mountains. I burst into tears. It was an entire build up.
I got over it and pulled it together. I did well in NAPlAN. But nobody has asked me about it.
Mum picked me up from school at 5:30 and we had to pick up sister 2 at 6:30. She didn't come out until 6:50. Usually this wouldn't be so bad, i mean last week she didn't come out until 7:30. But i have just started tutoring and i have to be there by 7:30 and i still have to eat dinner and have a shower and it takes 20 minutes to get home.
I am so sick of ending up second tier, to everyone for that matter.
I feel really neglected and i can't help feeling ashamed because what if i am just looking for attention?
I need someone who will just listen to me
Yeah people listen, but are they really? Are they actually watching my lips move and hear sound come out or are they thinking about what they had for dinner last night.
This is precisely why i started this blog. So i could let all this stuff out and not feel too guilty about wighing someone else down with my stupid issues.
It starts off with me arriving at school early and seeing a friend (who aint a friend any more) hanging out with the bitch who is making me look like a horrible bitch. I feel sick when i think about how all those people think of me as a reject now. Dad and mum aren't talking to me because i was so cold shoulder last night. I am not coping well with the fact that i don't have enough on to be noticed, my drama doesn't require a parent always there and public speaking is over etc. They only ever speak about my sisters and how great they are. They don't include me in any conversations. NObody asks me how my day was but when it comes to my sisters it's the opposite. Then my school having this sleepover at the zoo and we all need a buddy and mine is my BF, but she let me know this morning that she will be in the Blue mountains. I burst into tears. It was an entire build up.
I got over it and pulled it together. I did well in NAPlAN. But nobody has asked me about it.
Mum picked me up from school at 5:30 and we had to pick up sister 2 at 6:30. She didn't come out until 6:50. Usually this wouldn't be so bad, i mean last week she didn't come out until 7:30. But i have just started tutoring and i have to be there by 7:30 and i still have to eat dinner and have a shower and it takes 20 minutes to get home.
I am so sick of ending up second tier, to everyone for that matter.
I feel really neglected and i can't help feeling ashamed because what if i am just looking for attention?
I need someone who will just listen to me
Yeah people listen, but are they really? Are they actually watching my lips move and hear sound come out or are they thinking about what they had for dinner last night.
This is precisely why i started this blog. So i could let all this stuff out and not feel too guilty about wighing someone else down with my stupid issues.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Find someone to love
When i decided to leave my group i did it without saying anything you know, to avoid a huge confrontation and i left it at that. The people in that group think that this is a small fight that will only last a week or two but i think its only just starting to register to them that this isn't the case. I'm in this for the long haul. I was sick of putting up with the crap that went on in that group and i wasn't going to stand for it anylonger and for godsakes, that should be good enough and they should really stop rehashing old shit and get over it.
Oh god. One of the girls that originally left the group with me decided to go back and sell me out to them and tell them everything i had said.
"When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell"
Nobody seems to understand why i left and they all really pay me out about it. But i have explained so many times that i would go home everyday miserable after sitting with them because i couldn't be myself and it was just a really poisonous group. how many times do i have to tell them that i don't want to sort things out, i don't want to go back and sit there. I am well shot of the poison.
Then i come homefrom school and dad is beaming because sister 3 won all her tennis matches on the weekend and mum spent all weekend at sister 2's eistedfodd. I sound like a jealous idiot but it would just be so nice if maybe i was mentioned even once at the dinner table or maybe once somebody asked how my day was or what i like to do?
I'm an almost straight A student, I'm an exemplary student who is involved in all activities at school, i am liked by lots of people (except a few!) and i am a really good drama student. Mum wouldn't dare looking for an agent or trying to book me into some singing lessons but she will go and search for hours for sister 2's costumes and $800 tutus.
Grandad was all like "You're such a moody kid aren't ya?"
I almost killed someone. I didn't have the best day today and then here he is, in our house, eating our food and taking up our couch, talking non stop about his weekend, his holidays and how fantastic my two sister are. It's like i am not there.
I sound like such an attention seeking bitch who cares only about herself. Don't get me wrong i love my sisters and i am so glad they do well, but i would just love it if just once i got a mention in a convo or someone said something nice about me at the dinner table.
I wish dad looked at me with as much pride as he does my sisters.
I wish he loved me.
Oh god. One of the girls that originally left the group with me decided to go back and sell me out to them and tell them everything i had said.
"When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell"
Nobody seems to understand why i left and they all really pay me out about it. But i have explained so many times that i would go home everyday miserable after sitting with them because i couldn't be myself and it was just a really poisonous group. how many times do i have to tell them that i don't want to sort things out, i don't want to go back and sit there. I am well shot of the poison.
Then i come homefrom school and dad is beaming because sister 3 won all her tennis matches on the weekend and mum spent all weekend at sister 2's eistedfodd. I sound like a jealous idiot but it would just be so nice if maybe i was mentioned even once at the dinner table or maybe once somebody asked how my day was or what i like to do?
I'm an almost straight A student, I'm an exemplary student who is involved in all activities at school, i am liked by lots of people (except a few!) and i am a really good drama student. Mum wouldn't dare looking for an agent or trying to book me into some singing lessons but she will go and search for hours for sister 2's costumes and $800 tutus.
Grandad was all like "You're such a moody kid aren't ya?"
I almost killed someone. I didn't have the best day today and then here he is, in our house, eating our food and taking up our couch, talking non stop about his weekend, his holidays and how fantastic my two sister are. It's like i am not there.
I sound like such an attention seeking bitch who cares only about herself. Don't get me wrong i love my sisters and i am so glad they do well, but i would just love it if just once i got a mention in a convo or someone said something nice about me at the dinner table.
I wish dad looked at me with as much pride as he does my sisters.
I wish he loved me.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Ever feel like you're on your own?
I don't know
It's weird but i am good friends with this really popular girl and when i get boring she seems to move on and forget about me until i have something new to say. It kinda hurts so i am always thinking but she is a really good friend to me when she wants...i guess.
I called the hot guy from drama today and of course he didn't pick up, probably too busy making out with his on/off GF.
Sometimes i get this feeling that maybe people would be better off if i wasn't around, i mean my dad doesn't think much of me and i am always getting the feeling that maybe i let him down a lot by being the smart, drama one instead of a soccer, sports type of girl who wants to learn how to drive a wicked fast car instead of being driven around like the princess i am.
Then there are my so called friends who seem to pick me up and then drop me again like a hot tamale when it suits them and what they don't realise is that it hurts, it hurts not to belong somewhere anymore, as much as i love it, it's also really difficult.
Maybe i am just feeling a little blue, maybe i am just complaining.
Mothers day was a success and she looked pretty happy so i am glad for that
I reallllllly want to go and see this film "ghosts of girlfriends past" which i think will be pretty cool, anyways, just watched this film "Sweet home Alabama" which was a really cute film.
It's weird but i am good friends with this really popular girl and when i get boring she seems to move on and forget about me until i have something new to say. It kinda hurts so i am always thinking but she is a really good friend to me when she wants...i guess.
I called the hot guy from drama today and of course he didn't pick up, probably too busy making out with his on/off GF.
Sometimes i get this feeling that maybe people would be better off if i wasn't around, i mean my dad doesn't think much of me and i am always getting the feeling that maybe i let him down a lot by being the smart, drama one instead of a soccer, sports type of girl who wants to learn how to drive a wicked fast car instead of being driven around like the princess i am.
Then there are my so called friends who seem to pick me up and then drop me again like a hot tamale when it suits them and what they don't realise is that it hurts, it hurts not to belong somewhere anymore, as much as i love it, it's also really difficult.
Maybe i am just feeling a little blue, maybe i am just complaining.
Mothers day was a success and she looked pretty happy so i am glad for that
I reallllllly want to go and see this film "ghosts of girlfriends past" which i think will be pretty cool, anyways, just watched this film "Sweet home Alabama" which was a really cute film.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
All talk
I was pretty busy on Friday
I had Mag committee all day and i had school spec auditions at recess and an SRC meeting at lunch and a science test after lunch. Theres this one girl that i have known since primary school and we have always been against each other in everything, debating, public speaking, singing, acting, school captain, you name it, we're competing against each other for.
I found that she doesn't really like me that much, i mean, she does, but she also gets really annoyed with me and doesn't think i am as good as others seem to think.
Right....
Tonight we went out to do dinner for mothers day and came home pretty happy until sister 2 snapped at sister 3 and everything kinda went down hill from there. After they fought she brought me into it and then we were all sent to bed and dad was upset that we were fighting. it's all her fault, she gets into such a temper.
"when you walk my way, hope it gives you hell"
I told some of my friends that i just love Mel (Melly) Gibson, and they gave me such a hard time over it. Dude, i'm not planning on marrying the guy, i just love his acting skills. He really is phenomenal and he really does inspire him.
I really want to go and see this flick "The ghosts of girlfriends past" with Mathew. M and Jennifer Garner but after tonights fight that probably won't happen. Damn sister 2!
Quote of the day "I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost would be more than I could bear" - Patriot
I had Mag committee all day and i had school spec auditions at recess and an SRC meeting at lunch and a science test after lunch. Theres this one girl that i have known since primary school and we have always been against each other in everything, debating, public speaking, singing, acting, school captain, you name it, we're competing against each other for.
I found that she doesn't really like me that much, i mean, she does, but she also gets really annoyed with me and doesn't think i am as good as others seem to think.
Right....
Tonight we went out to do dinner for mothers day and came home pretty happy until sister 2 snapped at sister 3 and everything kinda went down hill from there. After they fought she brought me into it and then we were all sent to bed and dad was upset that we were fighting. it's all her fault, she gets into such a temper.
"when you walk my way, hope it gives you hell"
I told some of my friends that i just love Mel (Melly) Gibson, and they gave me such a hard time over it. Dude, i'm not planning on marrying the guy, i just love his acting skills. He really is phenomenal and he really does inspire him.
I really want to go and see this flick "The ghosts of girlfriends past" with Mathew. M and Jennifer Garner but after tonights fight that probably won't happen. Damn sister 2!
Quote of the day "I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost would be more than I could bear" - Patriot
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The weight has been lifted
I left my group....
I probably told you about this but after i decided that i hate this girl in my group and i want nothing more to do with her i left the group. No words or anything, i just realised that i need to do whats best for me and this is it. I suddenly feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i must say it is really nice to be able to come home without feeling bad about something in my group or stressing over a fight or you know..anything. Two of the girls came with me and the rest are just like "what the f*ck".
I honestly didn't do this for anything but my own happiness. I still talk to everyone but the one girl and have a good laugh, i just don't sit there anymore. I am happy at school again and i think that is the main thing. Except that all of a sudden that girl i despise is talking through my bf (one of the girls that came with me) and asking her if i will come and sit with the group tomorrow so that everyone can sort this out. Hello? I don't want to sort anything out at all, i just don't want to sit there and talk to you!
Maybe i should be clearer and be all like "Look you don't like me, i don't like you, lets not pretend shall we?" or just go back to talking to her but only like hi's. I just do not want to be associated with her anymore. I like this better and i will not go back there!
On the other hand, i am worried about sister 3 seeing as she is doubting herself and stuff. There is a girl in her year who is seriously popular and sister 3 was all sad and like "Is there something wrong with me or something"
awww. I'm gonna bash this other girl!
I went and saw the Crucible which was amazing and very dark. All about the salem witch trials which was really cool to see.
Signing off, am exhausted
I probably told you about this but after i decided that i hate this girl in my group and i want nothing more to do with her i left the group. No words or anything, i just realised that i need to do whats best for me and this is it. I suddenly feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i must say it is really nice to be able to come home without feeling bad about something in my group or stressing over a fight or you know..anything. Two of the girls came with me and the rest are just like "what the f*ck".
I honestly didn't do this for anything but my own happiness. I still talk to everyone but the one girl and have a good laugh, i just don't sit there anymore. I am happy at school again and i think that is the main thing. Except that all of a sudden that girl i despise is talking through my bf (one of the girls that came with me) and asking her if i will come and sit with the group tomorrow so that everyone can sort this out. Hello? I don't want to sort anything out at all, i just don't want to sit there and talk to you!
Maybe i should be clearer and be all like "Look you don't like me, i don't like you, lets not pretend shall we?" or just go back to talking to her but only like hi's. I just do not want to be associated with her anymore. I like this better and i will not go back there!
On the other hand, i am worried about sister 3 seeing as she is doubting herself and stuff. There is a girl in her year who is seriously popular and sister 3 was all sad and like "Is there something wrong with me or something"
awww. I'm gonna bash this other girl!
I went and saw the Crucible which was amazing and very dark. All about the salem witch trials which was really cool to see.
Signing off, am exhausted
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Moment's gone
You know when your happy one moment then the next you are furious.
Being around my mother does that to people. One minute im saying how much homework i have and then the next she says "You are always stressed" and we end up in this fight where shes all like. "You're always in a bad mood, you are a selfish inconsiderate bitch. i mean we all have to put on a happy face when we are in a bad mood but you, no, you just don't care"
Hello? whenenver she comes home, anyway who gets in her way gets a full swing of whatever made her upset that day. She marches through the house complaining and yelling at anyone for whatever reason and here she is telling me that i am always in a foul mood? What? She thinks she is the only one able to feel bad? Get a grip!
Then i get up and leave cause i don't want to hear it and she starts to argue with dad about me and complains at how i can't take criticism and how i can't take the heat. Helloooooo? i am right here, so when ur done talking about me like i am not there, give me a holler, then she's all like, "why can't i have just a normal conversation with you anymore"
Because you turned into a bitch old hag thats why. You want the last word and you always take things so seriously. i can't joke when your there, cause oh no mum might take it the wrong way.
Dad is just staring at me like, "Thanks a lot, now look what you've done."
It is not just all my fault though! Honestly. People who may or may not read this obviously think i am some stuck up snob who thinks the world revolves around them, but i am not like that at all, i just think that i should get a say sometimes
you know
Like when you feel like somones clapped there hand across your mouth but you have something important to say and then when they finally take it away you've forgotten what you had to say.
That's what it feels like
Being around my mother does that to people. One minute im saying how much homework i have and then the next she says "You are always stressed" and we end up in this fight where shes all like. "You're always in a bad mood, you are a selfish inconsiderate bitch. i mean we all have to put on a happy face when we are in a bad mood but you, no, you just don't care"
Hello? whenenver she comes home, anyway who gets in her way gets a full swing of whatever made her upset that day. She marches through the house complaining and yelling at anyone for whatever reason and here she is telling me that i am always in a foul mood? What? She thinks she is the only one able to feel bad? Get a grip!
Then i get up and leave cause i don't want to hear it and she starts to argue with dad about me and complains at how i can't take criticism and how i can't take the heat. Helloooooo? i am right here, so when ur done talking about me like i am not there, give me a holler, then she's all like, "why can't i have just a normal conversation with you anymore"
Because you turned into a bitch old hag thats why. You want the last word and you always take things so seriously. i can't joke when your there, cause oh no mum might take it the wrong way.
Dad is just staring at me like, "Thanks a lot, now look what you've done."
It is not just all my fault though! Honestly. People who may or may not read this obviously think i am some stuck up snob who thinks the world revolves around them, but i am not like that at all, i just think that i should get a say sometimes
you know
Like when you feel like somones clapped there hand across your mouth but you have something important to say and then when they finally take it away you've forgotten what you had to say.
That's what it feels like
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Supernatural Returns
Yes! Supernatural comes bcak next Monday on channel 10, 9:30 - 10:30 on Monday nights. I cannot wait, while i was in Canada i saw a few episodes but over here it hasn't been on for months and now i finally get to see those episodes again and listen to the podcasts i download on a weekly basis that have all these discussions on these Supernatural episodes that have yet to come out over here!
Changing topics, that girl i keep mentioning that i cannot stand must be following me or something, because not only has she joined the debating team but she also joined up with the Self Defence sport which i am doing and ahhhh i just want to kill her!
Our family went to the footy last night and there was this one guy who kept yelling in front of us saying stuff like "Get em on side Ref, Wakey wakey Ref, open your eyes Ref, you're a joke Ref!"and then he started to say F*ck and grandpa suddenly went "Hey mate, keep it down would you? We have kids here" Everyone beside him looked at us and thankfully the man didn't turn around but it was so embarrassing and slightly hypocritical seeing as at home he swears all the time and now we have sister number 3 (9 years old) saying things like 'hell' and 'frigging'. Not good!
Til the end of the year, that sounds like such a long way away!
Changing topics, that girl i keep mentioning that i cannot stand must be following me or something, because not only has she joined the debating team but she also joined up with the Self Defence sport which i am doing and ahhhh i just want to kill her!
Our family went to the footy last night and there was this one guy who kept yelling in front of us saying stuff like "Get em on side Ref, Wakey wakey Ref, open your eyes Ref, you're a joke Ref!"and then he started to say F*ck and grandpa suddenly went "Hey mate, keep it down would you? We have kids here" Everyone beside him looked at us and thankfully the man didn't turn around but it was so embarrassing and slightly hypocritical seeing as at home he swears all the time and now we have sister number 3 (9 years old) saying things like 'hell' and 'frigging'. Not good!
Til the end of the year, that sounds like such a long way away!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I cannot forget, i mustnot forget!
I cannot forget!
I am worried that tonight i will go down to watch television with my family but i'll slip back into being happy when underneath it isn't really like that.
I am upset that dad doesn't care about me and won't speak to me but he shows great concern for the other two? Grandad acts like another parent and taunts and thinks he has a right to tell me what to do when he won't do the chores on HIS day! Hello? but did i ask you for you're say? Correct me if i am wrong, but this isn't your house and it's none of your business!
Today the girl who coined me the self obsessed bitch joined the debating team. This confused me seeing as this girl hates getting up and talking in front of people. I wonder if she is doing this despite me? I don't care i just don't want to see her.
I also had NAPLAN prac tests all day which was absolutely super! (sarcastic)
On the bus i saw this totally hot guy but then i saw him walk up to this slag from a public school. I think it was Cromer? And pash her. The girl had to be in year 12 with massive make up and piercings and a ciggarette hanging from her hands.
Then as if to top it all off i was waiting in the rain for sister number 2 to hurry up and meet with me for dad to come and pick us up. By 10 past 4 she comes along with another girl who rides with us and says, "Come on, where gonna catch a bus!" and turns around and walks another way.
My reasons for not liking this plan
1. Dad will be here in 15 minutes
2. We don't know what time the bus goes or where it is
3. Dad doesn't know about this plan and he's coming our way anyway
4. I didn't know about this plan.
So anyway i tell her all this and she's like "Just because you had a bad day, don't take it out a=on everybody else, you stay here and we'll go and get the bus!"
We get to the bus stop and find that it leaves at 4:35, by this time we could already be in the car.
Everyone is pissed with the smart one. Build a bridge and get over it.
I cannot forget the reasons why my piss poor family is driving me to the point of tears.
I am worried that tonight i will go down to watch television with my family but i'll slip back into being happy when underneath it isn't really like that.
I am upset that dad doesn't care about me and won't speak to me but he shows great concern for the other two? Grandad acts like another parent and taunts and thinks he has a right to tell me what to do when he won't do the chores on HIS day! Hello? but did i ask you for you're say? Correct me if i am wrong, but this isn't your house and it's none of your business!
Today the girl who coined me the self obsessed bitch joined the debating team. This confused me seeing as this girl hates getting up and talking in front of people. I wonder if she is doing this despite me? I don't care i just don't want to see her.
I also had NAPLAN prac tests all day which was absolutely super! (sarcastic)
On the bus i saw this totally hot guy but then i saw him walk up to this slag from a public school. I think it was Cromer? And pash her. The girl had to be in year 12 with massive make up and piercings and a ciggarette hanging from her hands.
Then as if to top it all off i was waiting in the rain for sister number 2 to hurry up and meet with me for dad to come and pick us up. By 10 past 4 she comes along with another girl who rides with us and says, "Come on, where gonna catch a bus!" and turns around and walks another way.
My reasons for not liking this plan
1. Dad will be here in 15 minutes
2. We don't know what time the bus goes or where it is
3. Dad doesn't know about this plan and he's coming our way anyway
4. I didn't know about this plan.
So anyway i tell her all this and she's like "Just because you had a bad day, don't take it out a=on everybody else, you stay here and we'll go and get the bus!"
We get to the bus stop and find that it leaves at 4:35, by this time we could already be in the car.
Everyone is pissed with the smart one. Build a bridge and get over it.
I cannot forget the reasons why my piss poor family is driving me to the point of tears.
Am i not pretty enough?
Went back to school today....
It was awful. I'll admit that i am a little bit self centered. When i plonk myself down at lunch, i fill the awkward silences and when we speak about something, i admit that a lot of the time i relate it to personal experiences or i chatter on and on cause i am excited.
Today i heard that a lot of them think i am a self obsessed, self centered bitch. So i felt a little self conscious of that and then they all asked me if something was wrong.
I went to drama that afternoon and there's this cute british guy there, in the year above me. He hits on my friend a lot because she's funny, they're cracking jokes all the time, but of course, i have to be the one with morales and respect so i pay attention and then of course theres the fact that i am not funny, really, i cannot crack a joke without stopping half way through it, getting confused and having to start again.
I eventually gave up. This totally hot guy already thinks i am a no nothing loser. "Am i too outspoken, don't i make you laugh?"
Today we live in a society where all teenagers think that being smart is uncool and standing out and voicing your opinions is way too "goodie goodie teachers pet" Like for instance wth my group, they pay me out all the time and say things like "It's gay" and "who cares" or "what for"
Then, the cherry on top of today, dad came home only to talk of how great sister number 3 is going tennis. He loves to watch her. Him and sister number 2 always joke around like they have this inside joke they tell no one about. I have nothing. At my drama theatre comp he sat in the audience and gave me these faces, like, "How much longer!"
I got into the finals and he said he couldn't turn up. Is it because i don't play a sport? "I try as hard as i can"
Maybe it's not enough?
or maybe i should stop talking about myself and talk about the footy score, or maybe Richard Pratt's death, or maybe human issues like poverty in third world countries, would that make everyone happy?
It was awful. I'll admit that i am a little bit self centered. When i plonk myself down at lunch, i fill the awkward silences and when we speak about something, i admit that a lot of the time i relate it to personal experiences or i chatter on and on cause i am excited.
Today i heard that a lot of them think i am a self obsessed, self centered bitch. So i felt a little self conscious of that and then they all asked me if something was wrong.
I went to drama that afternoon and there's this cute british guy there, in the year above me. He hits on my friend a lot because she's funny, they're cracking jokes all the time, but of course, i have to be the one with morales and respect so i pay attention and then of course theres the fact that i am not funny, really, i cannot crack a joke without stopping half way through it, getting confused and having to start again.
I eventually gave up. This totally hot guy already thinks i am a no nothing loser. "Am i too outspoken, don't i make you laugh?"
Today we live in a society where all teenagers think that being smart is uncool and standing out and voicing your opinions is way too "goodie goodie teachers pet" Like for instance wth my group, they pay me out all the time and say things like "It's gay" and "who cares" or "what for"
Then, the cherry on top of today, dad came home only to talk of how great sister number 3 is going tennis. He loves to watch her. Him and sister number 2 always joke around like they have this inside joke they tell no one about. I have nothing. At my drama theatre comp he sat in the audience and gave me these faces, like, "How much longer!"
I got into the finals and he said he couldn't turn up. Is it because i don't play a sport? "I try as hard as i can"
Maybe it's not enough?
or maybe i should stop talking about myself and talk about the footy score, or maybe Richard Pratt's death, or maybe human issues like poverty in third world countries, would that make everyone happy?
Monday, April 27, 2009
unappreciated
Today my sister and my mum went into the city to see a dance and she told mum last night that she had picked out her outfit. So, of course she didn't and when she wore the clothes this morning they had chocolate on it, they were crinkled and mum threw an absolute fit. I jumped out of bed, made a mess of my own room and hers trying to find the perfect outfit and eventually did it with fifteen minutes to spare. I straighten her hair, then add corkscrew curls through it. I put on a touch of blush and mascara to her face and she's off. Mum screams, "be a help and hang the washing out." I replied "Ah help? Gosh that's something new!"
Then as she leaves, it's not a thanks for doing this today, it's "where are my god damn keys, look for them will you!"
I took my other sister to the movies today and i bought her some popcorn and made the day about her.
No thankyou's at all, not from anyone of them.
I am not saying i wouldn't have done it, but just once it would be nice to feel appreciated. Both of my sisters (dressed by moi) looked great and i always to what mum says and i get left at home. She takes sister number 2 to a dance in the city and i am stuck at home. She takes sister 3 to the park with her friends and i am stuck at home.
I cleaned out my room today aswell, i felt like it was just something i had to do. I came downstairs feeling accomplished and saw dad and sister number 3 playing computer games together. Have i forgotten all the times when dad and i had time together or was it just never there. I know i am a little bit older now, but we just don't talk, do anything. It makes me feel sad because i feel like even though i get on with my parents most of the time and our family does things together, i don't have much of a relationship.
It's not that i'm expecting any kind of appreciation or acknowledgement...It just would be nice, a change.
Then as she leaves, it's not a thanks for doing this today, it's "where are my god damn keys, look for them will you!"
I took my other sister to the movies today and i bought her some popcorn and made the day about her.
No thankyou's at all, not from anyone of them.
I am not saying i wouldn't have done it, but just once it would be nice to feel appreciated. Both of my sisters (dressed by moi) looked great and i always to what mum says and i get left at home. She takes sister number 2 to a dance in the city and i am stuck at home. She takes sister 3 to the park with her friends and i am stuck at home.
I cleaned out my room today aswell, i felt like it was just something i had to do. I came downstairs feeling accomplished and saw dad and sister number 3 playing computer games together. Have i forgotten all the times when dad and i had time together or was it just never there. I know i am a little bit older now, but we just don't talk, do anything. It makes me feel sad because i feel like even though i get on with my parents most of the time and our family does things together, i don't have much of a relationship.
It's not that i'm expecting any kind of appreciation or acknowledgement...It just would be nice, a change.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Movies i get, people however are a different story
You know after seeing my friend at my local shops today i found out that she is also not speaking to that drunk friend i have, who used to be my best friend. jess wants nothing to do with her aswell. Which is means that i am not the only person who feels the same way. It's so sad that someone with as much potential as my 'slowly going downhill' friend drinks away her life. But it is her decision.
But that wasn't really what i wanted to talk about. The folks are all going off to see this band tonight and so all the kids are coming to our place. I havan't seen one of the kids for a while, he's my age and he's an asshole who used to give me a lot of shit at school so i thought tonight i could show him how much i have changed but of course he says to his stupid parents "i'm too tired, just say hi for me" Bullshit! Now what am i gonna do for the entire night???
Hide, that's what i am gonna do. I am going to watch a movie in my room and steal the starbursts.
People are so confusing, some are plain stupid others are mindless idiots.
Don't get me wrong there are a lot of nice people out there but others are well, mindless nimrods
sincererly a pissed off rock chick
But that wasn't really what i wanted to talk about. The folks are all going off to see this band tonight and so all the kids are coming to our place. I havan't seen one of the kids for a while, he's my age and he's an asshole who used to give me a lot of shit at school so i thought tonight i could show him how much i have changed but of course he says to his stupid parents "i'm too tired, just say hi for me" Bullshit! Now what am i gonna do for the entire night???
Hide, that's what i am gonna do. I am going to watch a movie in my room and steal the starbursts.
People are so confusing, some are plain stupid others are mindless idiots.
Don't get me wrong there are a lot of nice people out there but others are well, mindless nimrods
sincererly a pissed off rock chick
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Patriot
I have always had a love for films...
I don't really know what it is, i don't particuarly like all films, but here are some that i just adore!
. The Patriot - Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger
. Lethal Weapon - Danny Glover, Mel Gibson
. Taken - Liam Neeson
. Remember the Titans - Denzel Washington
. The 6th sense - Bruce Willis, Hayley joel Osment
. Beverly Hills Cop - Eddie Murphy
. Conspiracy Theory - Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts
. Die Hard - Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman
. 17 again - Zac Efron (this movie looks a little out of place among these ones but anyways...)
So as you can probably tell, i am entranced with the work by Mel Gibson. The way he acts is just phenomenal! Maybe i love the movies so much because i wish i was working alongside actors like Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis. Maybe it's because everything is so much clearer and excititng in the films. I don't know. they just seem to capture me and make me watch. I love that.
I watched the Patriot for the first time last night and it had to be have been the longest film i have ever watched besides harry Potter but it was also one of the best because it was an amazing flim about the Independence war when America declared Independence. I had just finished watching the lethal weapon and he acts as like a suicidal maniac but you can also see his attempt to cover that throughtout the movie with this bravado act. So to see him playing this serious character was a shock but he did it so well, the part where his youngest daughter Susan starts speaking while he's away and when he comes back she is angry with him so as he bends down to hug her before he goes she backs away and the pain that rippled across his face was just heartwrenching. Then as he backs away he tries to cover it up and gets on his horse, Susan starts to cry and then screams "Papa, Papa. What do you want me to say..." as she runs toward him, he jumps off the horse and scoops her up.. It was really brilliant.
You know, i think i could become a movie critic. That would be a cool job
I don't really know what it is, i don't particuarly like all films, but here are some that i just adore!
. The Patriot - Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger
. Lethal Weapon - Danny Glover, Mel Gibson
. Taken - Liam Neeson
. Remember the Titans - Denzel Washington
. The 6th sense - Bruce Willis, Hayley joel Osment
. Beverly Hills Cop - Eddie Murphy
. Conspiracy Theory - Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts
. Die Hard - Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman
. 17 again - Zac Efron (this movie looks a little out of place among these ones but anyways...)
So as you can probably tell, i am entranced with the work by Mel Gibson. The way he acts is just phenomenal! Maybe i love the movies so much because i wish i was working alongside actors like Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis. Maybe it's because everything is so much clearer and excititng in the films. I don't know. they just seem to capture me and make me watch. I love that.
I watched the Patriot for the first time last night and it had to be have been the longest film i have ever watched besides harry Potter but it was also one of the best because it was an amazing flim about the Independence war when America declared Independence. I had just finished watching the lethal weapon and he acts as like a suicidal maniac but you can also see his attempt to cover that throughtout the movie with this bravado act. So to see him playing this serious character was a shock but he did it so well, the part where his youngest daughter Susan starts speaking while he's away and when he comes back she is angry with him so as he bends down to hug her before he goes she backs away and the pain that rippled across his face was just heartwrenching. Then as he backs away he tries to cover it up and gets on his horse, Susan starts to cry and then screams "Papa, Papa. What do you want me to say..." as she runs toward him, he jumps off the horse and scoops her up.. It was really brilliant.
You know, i think i could become a movie critic. That would be a cool job
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
"if i could turn back time"
I wish i could turn back the clock...
Go back and do it over, transform myself to become someone assertive, gorgeous, outspoken, happy. Have it over again and take more risks and be more confident, you know?
This is so ridiculous, i can't even see a movie anymore without feeling totally depressed!
I am angry with everything. The fact that my grandpa is living with us, he isn't family! Family are people who are there for you, who don't forget.
The movie got me thinking though, Zac made quite a life for himslef. If i had the chance, i would too, but being in the land of no opportunity i really can't make my mark. Being a budding actress is really difficult. I am like this tiny fish in not just a pond but the entire ocean. I am going to grow up wishing and the end up as a fat cat lady but with no cats, you know?
I just don't have anyone i can really connect with and i guess that's why i am always on the look out for the knight in shining armour, my Edward Cullen, Mr Right...all that kind of thing.
I just want to be able to talk to someone, i want someone to think the world of me that isn't a family member, someone to give me the respect i think i deserve.
I sound like such a sucker so we're gonna forget i ever said any of that
when i talk about respect, i don't mean this, today i was honked at twice by guys three times my age, staring at my chest! Honeslty, get a life!
I feel so cheap when things like that happen, for gods sake, i was wearing jeans, a tee shirt and a jacket! Really sexy, honestly
I feel like i could drown.
Go back and do it over, transform myself to become someone assertive, gorgeous, outspoken, happy. Have it over again and take more risks and be more confident, you know?
This is so ridiculous, i can't even see a movie anymore without feeling totally depressed!
I am angry with everything. The fact that my grandpa is living with us, he isn't family! Family are people who are there for you, who don't forget.
The movie got me thinking though, Zac made quite a life for himslef. If i had the chance, i would too, but being in the land of no opportunity i really can't make my mark. Being a budding actress is really difficult. I am like this tiny fish in not just a pond but the entire ocean. I am going to grow up wishing and the end up as a fat cat lady but with no cats, you know?
I just don't have anyone i can really connect with and i guess that's why i am always on the look out for the knight in shining armour, my Edward Cullen, Mr Right...all that kind of thing.
I just want to be able to talk to someone, i want someone to think the world of me that isn't a family member, someone to give me the respect i think i deserve.
I sound like such a sucker so we're gonna forget i ever said any of that
when i talk about respect, i don't mean this, today i was honked at twice by guys three times my age, staring at my chest! Honeslty, get a life!
I feel so cheap when things like that happen, for gods sake, i was wearing jeans, a tee shirt and a jacket! Really sexy, honestly
I feel like i could drown.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Waiting on the world to change
Such true words...
Honestly, i look on the world with such a sad face at times, the twin towers falling, racist jokes, 'F*CK' is used frequently in sentences, the economic crisis, the woman with 14 children under the of 5 with no partner and no income, the war against Iraq etc. It's only getting worse!
So i try and remember this when my problems arise
Mum was just hammering on about how my skin looks at the moment and how irresponsible, lazy and selfish i am and when i finally realise it will be too late. She said
"I cannot wait for a boy to come up to you and say'" You're skin is poxy bitch"'
Okay, i have always had skin issues, but it really isn't that abd at the moment, just a few sores on my arms, you should have seen it when i was a kid! mum gets worried i suppose but you know i just wish she would leave me alone sometimes!
I don't know, sometimes i wish that my parents could see me at school as the total opposite, i wish that my dad could look at me with pride in his eyes rather than disgust, you know?
I feel like he neglects me a lot, like when he looks at my younger sisters, he holds their hands and plays games with them and talks to them. It's not like that with us at all.
I mean, he gives me a lot more privay than my mum does but it's like we don't talk, besides the odd
"how was your day" there will be the rare moment where he actually talks to me but they don't come around very often and it makes me sad. Have i done something along the way that upset him, is it because i have gotten too old for that now? I just don't understand.
So, i bring it back to this, in a previous posting i wrote about how we should be given an instruction manual as to how we are supposed to live, what we'll enccounter and what to do to avoid trouble and confliction and confusion. But that would destroy the purpose of living life your own way and establishing your own destiny...
This life makes no sense to me
Honestly, i look on the world with such a sad face at times, the twin towers falling, racist jokes, 'F*CK' is used frequently in sentences, the economic crisis, the woman with 14 children under the of 5 with no partner and no income, the war against Iraq etc. It's only getting worse!
So i try and remember this when my problems arise
Mum was just hammering on about how my skin looks at the moment and how irresponsible, lazy and selfish i am and when i finally realise it will be too late. She said
"I cannot wait for a boy to come up to you and say'" You're skin is poxy bitch"'
Okay, i have always had skin issues, but it really isn't that abd at the moment, just a few sores on my arms, you should have seen it when i was a kid! mum gets worried i suppose but you know i just wish she would leave me alone sometimes!
I don't know, sometimes i wish that my parents could see me at school as the total opposite, i wish that my dad could look at me with pride in his eyes rather than disgust, you know?
I feel like he neglects me a lot, like when he looks at my younger sisters, he holds their hands and plays games with them and talks to them. It's not like that with us at all.
I mean, he gives me a lot more privay than my mum does but it's like we don't talk, besides the odd
"how was your day" there will be the rare moment where he actually talks to me but they don't come around very often and it makes me sad. Have i done something along the way that upset him, is it because i have gotten too old for that now? I just don't understand.
So, i bring it back to this, in a previous posting i wrote about how we should be given an instruction manual as to how we are supposed to live, what we'll enccounter and what to do to avoid trouble and confliction and confusion. But that would destroy the purpose of living life your own way and establishing your own destiny...
This life makes no sense to me
Friday, April 17, 2009
"I'd lie"
"If you ask me if i love him, I'd lie"
Taylor Swifts song, I'd lie. Her songs aren't the best but her lyrics are pretty cool. I can sing OK but not like fantastic. Average. But i wish i could dance, dancing is so much more graceful and beautiful. My sister who is younger can dance really well, and i am so not being bias. She has won every comp she has entered and when she starts to move to the music, my voice catches in my throat, she just seems to float across the stage.
But when it comes to contemporary or lyrical she just smiles, i mean her smile lights up the room but when it comes to those type of dances she needs to feel the music, dance the lyrics, you know?
Like acting, you can tell when an actor is not in the character, the acting looks fake. It's hard to explain but an actor can't just pretend to be a character, the actor needs to become the character or it looks unbelievabel. Like, say there is an angry teenage girl, the actress needs to feel those emotions and thoughts to be able to make the acting look real.
Same with dancing really, i mean, if the music is say "Farewell - Rosie Thomas" you cannot be smiling at the audience, you need to feel what the singer is describing and let the music take you.
My other sister is a sport freak, cannot stop moving, plays tennis, soccer, runs etc. It's funny how we are all different. I wish i was a sport person, guys always say how sexy it is to see a girl playing soccer.
AHHHH. I had to be the Theatre/stage/academic type then didn't i!
Life is so unfair, you know?
Taylor Swifts song, I'd lie. Her songs aren't the best but her lyrics are pretty cool. I can sing OK but not like fantastic. Average. But i wish i could dance, dancing is so much more graceful and beautiful. My sister who is younger can dance really well, and i am so not being bias. She has won every comp she has entered and when she starts to move to the music, my voice catches in my throat, she just seems to float across the stage.
But when it comes to contemporary or lyrical she just smiles, i mean her smile lights up the room but when it comes to those type of dances she needs to feel the music, dance the lyrics, you know?
Like acting, you can tell when an actor is not in the character, the acting looks fake. It's hard to explain but an actor can't just pretend to be a character, the actor needs to become the character or it looks unbelievabel. Like, say there is an angry teenage girl, the actress needs to feel those emotions and thoughts to be able to make the acting look real.
Same with dancing really, i mean, if the music is say "Farewell - Rosie Thomas" you cannot be smiling at the audience, you need to feel what the singer is describing and let the music take you.
My other sister is a sport freak, cannot stop moving, plays tennis, soccer, runs etc. It's funny how we are all different. I wish i was a sport person, guys always say how sexy it is to see a girl playing soccer.
AHHHH. I had to be the Theatre/stage/academic type then didn't i!
Life is so unfair, you know?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Feeling deep
You will not believe what just happened...
I just got that job at the cafe, apparantely the guy was very impressed by my handwriting and my people skills. Huh? what do you know?
Not meaning to sound vain, but i look kinda good today, not that i look ugly but today i feel pretty which is important. I'm wearing this woolen brown dress with a pink tie and skinny jeans, with my brown hair straightened and pink lipgloss.
I can't understand sometimes, if i look as pretty as i feel than why doesn't anyone notice me? is it because every cute, understanding, funny and romantic guy is taken or am i oblivious and too picky. I am at a complete and utter loss to understand why my ex best friend can score a guy and she is a drunk? Maybe i am too safe and not rebel enough.
My whole life i have been known as kind of a goodie two shoes. Which i'm not really. I mean, i take a lot of pride in my work and i try to be the best i can be and enter into everything just to try it out, but then i am bagged out about it, like all the guys at my primary would call me a freak but really i just wasn't interested in making out at lunch times...but maybe i should have been.
I swear, when the adults tell you that being a teenager is the best time of your life they are seriously kidding themselves, i mean, who knew it could be so confusing.
I guess, i make a pretty big deal out of the whole 'being single' thing but really, all i have ever wanted is someone to listen, really listen and be there for me. Not that my friends don't do any of that, but i want someone to love me who isn't a family member or a girlfriend. I really want it. I'm not one of those people who just like to pick up a guy and then drop him again after the steam has cooled.
I feel sad when i think that maybe i might end up like my aunt, alone with three dogs and 8 horses in the country.
I can't be like that, i would die first! No offence intended, but it just isn't me. I want people to remember my name for years to come, whether it's because i end up as the prime minister or a famous criminologist or the worlds best director since Clint Eastwood.
You know how you see in the Romantic movies, the girl is in danger but the guy and he keeps her safe etc. Well, i want to be protected, not from a monster or anything but i want that sense of security, but who knows, maybe i am blowing this way out of proportion. Like all my friends keep trying to drag me to the school dances but i don't want random guys feeling me up, pashing me and then leaving, i want a guy to like me for who i am, not for my rack, you know what i mean?
Ok, you know what, i'm gonna stop right there or i could go on forever.
Love Miss Romantic
xxx
I just got that job at the cafe, apparantely the guy was very impressed by my handwriting and my people skills. Huh? what do you know?
Not meaning to sound vain, but i look kinda good today, not that i look ugly but today i feel pretty which is important. I'm wearing this woolen brown dress with a pink tie and skinny jeans, with my brown hair straightened and pink lipgloss.
I can't understand sometimes, if i look as pretty as i feel than why doesn't anyone notice me? is it because every cute, understanding, funny and romantic guy is taken or am i oblivious and too picky. I am at a complete and utter loss to understand why my ex best friend can score a guy and she is a drunk? Maybe i am too safe and not rebel enough.
My whole life i have been known as kind of a goodie two shoes. Which i'm not really. I mean, i take a lot of pride in my work and i try to be the best i can be and enter into everything just to try it out, but then i am bagged out about it, like all the guys at my primary would call me a freak but really i just wasn't interested in making out at lunch times...but maybe i should have been.
I swear, when the adults tell you that being a teenager is the best time of your life they are seriously kidding themselves, i mean, who knew it could be so confusing.
I guess, i make a pretty big deal out of the whole 'being single' thing but really, all i have ever wanted is someone to listen, really listen and be there for me. Not that my friends don't do any of that, but i want someone to love me who isn't a family member or a girlfriend. I really want it. I'm not one of those people who just like to pick up a guy and then drop him again after the steam has cooled.
I feel sad when i think that maybe i might end up like my aunt, alone with three dogs and 8 horses in the country.
I can't be like that, i would die first! No offence intended, but it just isn't me. I want people to remember my name for years to come, whether it's because i end up as the prime minister or a famous criminologist or the worlds best director since Clint Eastwood.
You know how you see in the Romantic movies, the girl is in danger but the guy and he keeps her safe etc. Well, i want to be protected, not from a monster or anything but i want that sense of security, but who knows, maybe i am blowing this way out of proportion. Like all my friends keep trying to drag me to the school dances but i don't want random guys feeling me up, pashing me and then leaving, i want a guy to like me for who i am, not for my rack, you know what i mean?
Ok, you know what, i'm gonna stop right there or i could go on forever.
Love Miss Romantic
xxx
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Waiting to be noticed...
I had this performance on last night and i fell hard...
This guy, he isn't just hot this time, he's honest and has this smile that makes me heart melt in my chest. He's not afraid to be himself and he's so nice to me. I can be my self around him.
The one itsy bitsy dilema is that he is taken.
What could i possibly do for him to really nottice me? I'm the girl behind the curls remember?
It's easy to flirt and try not to look too available, but that doesn't mean he is looking at me does it.
He said that i was sexy yesterday...This is getting ridiculous, i mean i was up all of last night trying to decide whether i should meet up with him and tell him exactly how i feel and that i don't expect a return of the same feelings. But how unfair would that be to the both of us, considering that he is already practically engaged to this other girl. They've been together for so long it's crazy.
I called a friend in the morning to ask her advice and she just reckons to wait it out and it will pay off.
I'm not sure, what if he likes me too, even just a little???? ahhh this is so hard!!!
Whatever, "you'll be here in my heart....always"
This guy, he isn't just hot this time, he's honest and has this smile that makes me heart melt in my chest. He's not afraid to be himself and he's so nice to me. I can be my self around him.
The one itsy bitsy dilema is that he is taken.
What could i possibly do for him to really nottice me? I'm the girl behind the curls remember?
It's easy to flirt and try not to look too available, but that doesn't mean he is looking at me does it.
He said that i was sexy yesterday...This is getting ridiculous, i mean i was up all of last night trying to decide whether i should meet up with him and tell him exactly how i feel and that i don't expect a return of the same feelings. But how unfair would that be to the both of us, considering that he is already practically engaged to this other girl. They've been together for so long it's crazy.
I called a friend in the morning to ask her advice and she just reckons to wait it out and it will pay off.
I'm not sure, what if he likes me too, even just a little???? ahhh this is so hard!!!
Whatever, "you'll be here in my heart....always"
Monday, April 13, 2009
Red lipstick and black polish
Day in the life of a goth.
Well, for all you goths out there, i can totally understand why you're upset a lot. Being goth is hard work! The nails, the eyes, the clothes.
I have this theatre sports comp tonight and my group is dressed as goths and let me tell you that being goth so desn't suit me. I have blonde hair and take a fancy to flowers for godsakes!
But i must admit, the black thing is kinda sexy...
okay straying from the topic here.
I am really pumped, dad has promised to take us up to Jindabyne for the weekend. We have a flat up there, it's like our home away from home. I have been skiing for as long as i can remember and it comes so easy, like breathing.
But lately breathing has become difficult, like everything. The mothership is stressed out and it's holidays! Dad is working again and it's holidays!!!!
I am really glad we are going to the snow, although, being the middle of Autumn, the snow is M.I.A. But surely the season will be better this year, god knows it has been so cold lately!
Goth is hardwork.
Being true will bring back my breath...hopefully
Well, for all you goths out there, i can totally understand why you're upset a lot. Being goth is hard work! The nails, the eyes, the clothes.
I have this theatre sports comp tonight and my group is dressed as goths and let me tell you that being goth so desn't suit me. I have blonde hair and take a fancy to flowers for godsakes!
But i must admit, the black thing is kinda sexy...
okay straying from the topic here.
I am really pumped, dad has promised to take us up to Jindabyne for the weekend. We have a flat up there, it's like our home away from home. I have been skiing for as long as i can remember and it comes so easy, like breathing.
But lately breathing has become difficult, like everything. The mothership is stressed out and it's holidays! Dad is working again and it's holidays!!!!
I am really glad we are going to the snow, although, being the middle of Autumn, the snow is M.I.A. But surely the season will be better this year, god knows it has been so cold lately!
Goth is hardwork.
Being true will bring back my breath...hopefully
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Home and away
Literally...
For the last 4 days i have been in the country with relatives and i swear that i almost went crazy. One of her horses, Jimmy coughed all night and his mother, Jessie, whinnied over his coughs. Sandy and Nerrace galloped around and the other four were out of hearing distance...ahhhh!
Just got home again and let me just say how good it feels.
While we were out there i had the most intense and strange dreams, like this one where...well, you probably do not want to know, all i will say is that involved easter eggs, the scum head Zac Efron and my primary school...Hmmm, jesus that is so bizare. The mothership went with dad to Nelsons bay and they had a really good time by themselves but here we are at home and the cats have piddled on the floor and mum is yelling...hmmm...maybe it's just this house?
I have eaten so much chocolate over the weekend that my skin is blotchy and red...Very hot!
Sometimes i wish we could float on a cloud and watch over those we miss but are too afraid to do anything about. Sometimes i wish we had our own personal invisibility cloak.
Man, do i need a severe reality check!
Sincerely,
the girl who needs to get her head out of the clouds.
For the last 4 days i have been in the country with relatives and i swear that i almost went crazy. One of her horses, Jimmy coughed all night and his mother, Jessie, whinnied over his coughs. Sandy and Nerrace galloped around and the other four were out of hearing distance...ahhhh!
Just got home again and let me just say how good it feels.
While we were out there i had the most intense and strange dreams, like this one where...well, you probably do not want to know, all i will say is that involved easter eggs, the scum head Zac Efron and my primary school...Hmmm, jesus that is so bizare. The mothership went with dad to Nelsons bay and they had a really good time by themselves but here we are at home and the cats have piddled on the floor and mum is yelling...hmmm...maybe it's just this house?
I have eaten so much chocolate over the weekend that my skin is blotchy and red...Very hot!
Sometimes i wish we could float on a cloud and watch over those we miss but are too afraid to do anything about. Sometimes i wish we had our own personal invisibility cloak.
Man, do i need a severe reality check!
Sincerely,
the girl who needs to get her head out of the clouds.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
"..Feeling like such a mess.."
Those words exactly...
It's been like this for a week, i'm only what, 15? and i feel sad, sad and upset. Now that school is done for the term i am unable to escape to school. Home is like the living dead and i feel like i have this pool of bubbling acid in my stomach. I go into the country tomorrow. maybe the bubbling will go away once i'm there and be replaced with itchy eyes and sneezing fits.
Maybe, it's that i feel like i have a multiple personality disorder. Like at school everyone sees me as the perfect, pretty good girl, but at home it's so different. Here, i'm a lazy shit that has nothing better to do with her time than assignments.
Nobody has any real idea, maybe that's the whole idea. But no body will listen to me even for a moment, the moment i try there eyes glaze over like that lake in Canada that people skate aross in the winter.
I am so tired of trying.
A girl could truly wait forever.
It's been like this for a week, i'm only what, 15? and i feel sad, sad and upset. Now that school is done for the term i am unable to escape to school. Home is like the living dead and i feel like i have this pool of bubbling acid in my stomach. I go into the country tomorrow. maybe the bubbling will go away once i'm there and be replaced with itchy eyes and sneezing fits.
Maybe, it's that i feel like i have a multiple personality disorder. Like at school everyone sees me as the perfect, pretty good girl, but at home it's so different. Here, i'm a lazy shit that has nothing better to do with her time than assignments.
Nobody has any real idea, maybe that's the whole idea. But no body will listen to me even for a moment, the moment i try there eyes glaze over like that lake in Canada that people skate aross in the winter.
I am so tired of trying.
A girl could truly wait forever.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
School's out baby!
Had the day off today....
What more can i say....
I feel free!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bisous
xoxo
What more can i say....
I feel free!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bisous
xoxo
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Hello, right here
Ok, well had a really bad day today...
Had so much stuff on to do with the SRC and then i had wednesday sport which comes right after 3a so i had to rush off to get the bus, so of course i forgot to hand something in and today was the last day i was going to school, so mums like "You have to go to school now blah blah blah..." I mean, i will just email the teacher or get dad to drive past the bus stop and give it to Ashlea.
But then she goes on saying how much of a screw up i am and yells all this crap when i say "That's enough" and she jjust looks at me like what did you just say. and i said i just didn't get any time to give it to him, so i will email him, and then she says i don't care, you're so unorganized etc...
It's just ridiculous. And i have had enough of being totally unnticed for all the stuff i do purely to make them proud. They don't give a shit and i'm tired of trying.
Feeling betrayed
Had so much stuff on to do with the SRC and then i had wednesday sport which comes right after 3a so i had to rush off to get the bus, so of course i forgot to hand something in and today was the last day i was going to school, so mums like "You have to go to school now blah blah blah..." I mean, i will just email the teacher or get dad to drive past the bus stop and give it to Ashlea.
But then she goes on saying how much of a screw up i am and yells all this crap when i say "That's enough" and she jjust looks at me like what did you just say. and i said i just didn't get any time to give it to him, so i will email him, and then she says i don't care, you're so unorganized etc...
It's just ridiculous. And i have had enough of being totally unnticed for all the stuff i do purely to make them proud. They don't give a shit and i'm tired of trying.
Feeling betrayed
Stay clear!
OMFG.....
As much as i love hanging with Soph ( a friend, who is just about to start on her L's) i am hungry and i have a ton of fricking fracking homework to do so i was already annoyed that we spent over an hour watching my sister have a BALLET LESSON. God, if she had to do any dance, why ballet????? Anyways when we got home i had so much stuff to get into the house that i asked my sister to help get a few of my books out of the car she groaned and got out and left me to get it all, hello, was it really that hard when all she was carrying was a hand bag?
So by the time i got into the house i was fuming and then the old man (my grandpa) who is currently livivng with us cause he needs to pay off his mortgage and can't get a job where he lives says "Are you a crnaky bum today" with this patronizing smile. And that almost about did it.
Anyone who lives with me already knows to cool it when im angry and his little comment just made me snap! I mean who is he to tell me this? He barely even spoke to us until he needed our house, one of our rooms, our food...
It never used to get to me this much but it has started to lately as he touches the radio, makes us late for the bus, eats our food and acts as another parent.
Sincerely
a very pissed off hormonal teenager
As much as i love hanging with Soph ( a friend, who is just about to start on her L's) i am hungry and i have a ton of fricking fracking homework to do so i was already annoyed that we spent over an hour watching my sister have a BALLET LESSON. God, if she had to do any dance, why ballet????? Anyways when we got home i had so much stuff to get into the house that i asked my sister to help get a few of my books out of the car she groaned and got out and left me to get it all, hello, was it really that hard when all she was carrying was a hand bag?
So by the time i got into the house i was fuming and then the old man (my grandpa) who is currently livivng with us cause he needs to pay off his mortgage and can't get a job where he lives says "Are you a crnaky bum today" with this patronizing smile. And that almost about did it.
Anyone who lives with me already knows to cool it when im angry and his little comment just made me snap! I mean who is he to tell me this? He barely even spoke to us until he needed our house, one of our rooms, our food...
It never used to get to me this much but it has started to lately as he touches the radio, makes us late for the bus, eats our food and acts as another parent.
Sincerely
a very pissed off hormonal teenager
Monday, April 6, 2009
Maybe, a little less political
Tonight i gave this speech about how America is needed and the whole fiasco with George Bush ruined America and he made bad choices etc. I think it was a little too full on casue all the other people made speeches on schools, moments in time, organ diseases and the stolen generation. Mum reckons i need to be more true to myself and speak from the heart rather than the newspaper. I think she's right. Maybe next time i'll add a little humour or an inside joke...? Hmmmm
I have decided that school homeowk was designed to torture us and make us squirm.. I mean just beacuse these teachers have no life they want us all to have no life along with them. I am up to my arm pits in homework and i know what you're probably thinking.."why did you leave it so long?" I didn't, they were practically put on me this week, yeah for 3 days before holidays. Slackers!
Well, i have to stop now consdiering all that work i have yet to do
My god, give us a break, we're all bending over backwards to finish it all on time
I have decided that school homeowk was designed to torture us and make us squirm.. I mean just beacuse these teachers have no life they want us all to have no life along with them. I am up to my arm pits in homework and i know what you're probably thinking.."why did you leave it so long?" I didn't, they were practically put on me this week, yeah for 3 days before holidays. Slackers!
Well, i have to stop now consdiering all that work i have yet to do
My god, give us a break, we're all bending over backwards to finish it all on time
Sunday, April 5, 2009
A sense of belonging
School today was...well, not exactly fun....
I had an amazing day yesterday where me and a couple of friends (not in the group i sit with at school) went around the beaches, over huge boulders and talked about..well, girly things. It was so nice with the B'day girls family surrounding the table sharing hilarious family stories and then we went to the park and took pics. It was a great evening.
Today, however was not so great. The group i sit with, everyone hates at least another girl in the group! They talk about the wierdest stuff and whenever i go to talk about this cute guy i saw at the bus stop or this killer band i just heard of, its "Right...so anyway, see that food arangement in her lunchbox..?" It's ridiculous that now i am too worried to bring anything up that i might like to talk about in case they turn their noses down at my suggestion. That group is not where i belong, i need to sit somewhere else, with people that actually get together during the holidays and over the weekend.. Oh god, it is gonna be so hard when they ask, why do you sit with the Elles group now?"
I've been avoiding one of my good friends all day today cause....well, she told me not to join the Mag committee this year and i agreed, but when i went to tell the librarian that, she kinda guilt tripped me into it and then gave me chocolate so i said...yes.
Why oh why do i do this. The teachers totally know i am a sucker and they just know i will say yes. I've tried the black nail polish to kind of freak them out but no such luck so far.
sincerely the girl who can't keep her trap shut!
I had an amazing day yesterday where me and a couple of friends (not in the group i sit with at school) went around the beaches, over huge boulders and talked about..well, girly things. It was so nice with the B'day girls family surrounding the table sharing hilarious family stories and then we went to the park and took pics. It was a great evening.
Today, however was not so great. The group i sit with, everyone hates at least another girl in the group! They talk about the wierdest stuff and whenever i go to talk about this cute guy i saw at the bus stop or this killer band i just heard of, its "Right...so anyway, see that food arangement in her lunchbox..?" It's ridiculous that now i am too worried to bring anything up that i might like to talk about in case they turn their noses down at my suggestion. That group is not where i belong, i need to sit somewhere else, with people that actually get together during the holidays and over the weekend.. Oh god, it is gonna be so hard when they ask, why do you sit with the Elles group now?"
I've been avoiding one of my good friends all day today cause....well, she told me not to join the Mag committee this year and i agreed, but when i went to tell the librarian that, she kinda guilt tripped me into it and then gave me chocolate so i said...yes.
Why oh why do i do this. The teachers totally know i am a sucker and they just know i will say yes. I've tried the black nail polish to kind of freak them out but no such luck so far.
sincerely the girl who can't keep her trap shut!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Bacon and Eggs with funny toast
I have this great English friend who once told me a joke....
It was centered around jaffels, and as he went on i thought to myself, what the hell are jaffels, is that what they call jaffas in English. But then he began to speak of ham and cheese jaffels and i thought, how on earth do you get ham and cheese jaffas? Isn't the choc one enough?
But as he explained it, I felt so stupid, It's another word for Toast in England.
I need to remember to ask him where he was born, after all, my grandad and my mum were born in Loughborour England.
This morning i had funny 'jaffels' with all these seeds in them and mum loves it. However the rest of the family cannot stand multigrain bread...you know what, she also puts mushrooms all through the stroganoff and claims they were in the sauce, when she knows that the rest of us hate them and have to pick them out.
When you think about it, it's kinda selfish when all she has to do is put her mushrooms on her own plate at the end. Or is that laziness?
I'm not one to judge or criticize when i expect we all do something similar.
Favourtie line of the day - 'USWIM' ('Lock and Key')
It was centered around jaffels, and as he went on i thought to myself, what the hell are jaffels, is that what they call jaffas in English. But then he began to speak of ham and cheese jaffels and i thought, how on earth do you get ham and cheese jaffas? Isn't the choc one enough?
But as he explained it, I felt so stupid, It's another word for Toast in England.
I need to remember to ask him where he was born, after all, my grandad and my mum were born in Loughborour England.
This morning i had funny 'jaffels' with all these seeds in them and mum loves it. However the rest of the family cannot stand multigrain bread...you know what, she also puts mushrooms all through the stroganoff and claims they were in the sauce, when she knows that the rest of us hate them and have to pick them out.
When you think about it, it's kinda selfish when all she has to do is put her mushrooms on her own plate at the end. Or is that laziness?
I'm not one to judge or criticize when i expect we all do something similar.
Favourtie line of the day - 'USWIM' ('Lock and Key')
Did you get the manuscript?
A few days ago i had religion class....
I don't know how you picture it but at my school the teacher basically tries to explain the importance of letting god into your life.
Then she talks about how everyone has a purpose and everyone has to live a certain way.
I leave the room feeling depressed and de-energized. I mean, where was my manuscript that told me what to do? I still am not sure of what path i want to take, what road i want to follow and her telling me that i have a purpose? Which is what, what if i don't have one?
It also leaves me feeling frustrated and annoyed because how can you please everyone when everyone has different opinions of how you should live. Do you follow common sense or (truly corny but whatever) what your heart is saying to you?
Please, if anyone did receive some kind of information on how to live their lives and take the ride smoothly and without a hitch. let me know.
although, in saying this. That's not life.Isn't life about making mistakes and then learning from them? or is that just what they teach you in those wacky life lessons?
I don't know how you picture it but at my school the teacher basically tries to explain the importance of letting god into your life.
Then she talks about how everyone has a purpose and everyone has to live a certain way.
I leave the room feeling depressed and de-energized. I mean, where was my manuscript that told me what to do? I still am not sure of what path i want to take, what road i want to follow and her telling me that i have a purpose? Which is what, what if i don't have one?
It also leaves me feeling frustrated and annoyed because how can you please everyone when everyone has different opinions of how you should live. Do you follow common sense or (truly corny but whatever) what your heart is saying to you?
Please, if anyone did receive some kind of information on how to live their lives and take the ride smoothly and without a hitch. let me know.
although, in saying this. That's not life.Isn't life about making mistakes and then learning from them? or is that just what they teach you in those wacky life lessons?
Added pressure
This will sound so immature, but i am going to say it anyway because am i not like any ordianry teenage girl?....
I met the cutest boy at this debating seminar and then i saw him again at my local shops and all i want is for him to notice me, notice the kind girl behind the spiral curls that only hide the assertive person i wish to be.
One of my good friends is really assertive and has the guys putty in her hands but i can't seem to take on this skill...
I was only thinking yesterday about this idea my friend put in my head. The Gypsy Girl. Wouldn't that be cool to be a gypsy? To move around place to place and experience the world but the more i thought about it, where's the security of an actual home and family.
Friends are every where but you can't pick and choose your family. My mums side of the family is aways o'er at christmas though we really aren't close at all. It's just polite chatter to fill the silence.
Only 10 minutes ago we had dinner and dad launched into the fact that my life is tipping dangerously. Work is taking over and my life is becoming unbalanced. I don't know if he's noticed but i really don't have time for rec. I have so much to do, things to plan for school and to study for. I am looking into a lot of things and then he said that i need to take on more responsibility around the house. is he deaf? I have so much on and now he wants me to do more work???
I wil be found tomorrow morning with worn out brain splattered all over the walls from my head exploding.
I can't wait for the holidays, this is when we get away to the country, just me and my two sisters while my parents get a few days to themselves.
I feel sick with all this added pressure.
I met the cutest boy at this debating seminar and then i saw him again at my local shops and all i want is for him to notice me, notice the kind girl behind the spiral curls that only hide the assertive person i wish to be.
One of my good friends is really assertive and has the guys putty in her hands but i can't seem to take on this skill...
I was only thinking yesterday about this idea my friend put in my head. The Gypsy Girl. Wouldn't that be cool to be a gypsy? To move around place to place and experience the world but the more i thought about it, where's the security of an actual home and family.
Friends are every where but you can't pick and choose your family. My mums side of the family is aways o'er at christmas though we really aren't close at all. It's just polite chatter to fill the silence.
Only 10 minutes ago we had dinner and dad launched into the fact that my life is tipping dangerously. Work is taking over and my life is becoming unbalanced. I don't know if he's noticed but i really don't have time for rec. I have so much to do, things to plan for school and to study for. I am looking into a lot of things and then he said that i need to take on more responsibility around the house. is he deaf? I have so much on and now he wants me to do more work???
I wil be found tomorrow morning with worn out brain splattered all over the walls from my head exploding.
I can't wait for the holidays, this is when we get away to the country, just me and my two sisters while my parents get a few days to themselves.
I feel sick with all this added pressure.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Better left unsaid
Woke up this morning...
Felt a headache coming on, knowing i have a mountain of treacherous homework awaiting me, but dad has come in, even though he hasn't said anything yet, i know exactly what he's about to say next.
"You need to clean your room, the bathroom, have breakfast and vaccuum the stairs". Fair enough, i mean the house needs to stay clean...but this happend every weekend and we spend all weekend cleanig it for my mum so she doesn't come home stressed to a slightly unlclean house.
I am so tired and i woul just love to say something. Telling them how i truly feel on issues that are bothering me but the moment i do, a fight will erupt and to be honest. I cannot deal with it today.
I am tired. I was reading this book where the main girl is leaving behind her home and friends but all her best friend can talk about is her life and how she will feel about not having her friend there to listen to her. The main character leaves feeling like she is never heard, her friend makes her feel plain and unimportant. She is always there for her friend, but when it came down to it, who would be there for her.
It really got me thinking about a lot of things like who do i really count on?
Maybe some questions don't get answers?
Maybe some things are better left unspoken?
Felt a headache coming on, knowing i have a mountain of treacherous homework awaiting me, but dad has come in, even though he hasn't said anything yet, i know exactly what he's about to say next.
"You need to clean your room, the bathroom, have breakfast and vaccuum the stairs". Fair enough, i mean the house needs to stay clean...but this happend every weekend and we spend all weekend cleanig it for my mum so she doesn't come home stressed to a slightly unlclean house.
I am so tired and i woul just love to say something. Telling them how i truly feel on issues that are bothering me but the moment i do, a fight will erupt and to be honest. I cannot deal with it today.
I am tired. I was reading this book where the main girl is leaving behind her home and friends but all her best friend can talk about is her life and how she will feel about not having her friend there to listen to her. The main character leaves feeling like she is never heard, her friend makes her feel plain and unimportant. She is always there for her friend, but when it came down to it, who would be there for her.
It really got me thinking about a lot of things like who do i really count on?
Maybe some questions don't get answers?
Maybe some things are better left unspoken?
The girl behind the curls
Rewind to 3 years ago...
3 years ago i was sitting at home with nothing to worry about. I had my best friend who i could always count on and my mum was more relaxed and my dad wasn't so worried about the simplest things. 3 years ago i had the ability to actually say the word "No".
As the years have passed these things have seemed to evaporate just like those perfect summer days where the weather it just perfect.
Fast forward 3 years....
My so called 'best friend' is an underage alcholic and my parents have never been so uptight, and as for me, well, i'm just trying to get it right.
I am in the public speaking class, debating, choir, school musical, SRC and the school magazine. It's not exactly that i like to be in all these things. For one, i simply do not have the time, but when those teahers come and ask me to sign up, i just nod and say yes when i should have said no. It's genetic, and it's kinda weird, considering i am a drama student (and quite a good one if i may be so bold to add) and i can't think of one excuse to get myself out of the tricky corner before i sign the contract.
I'm in grade 9 and i suppose it's pretty young to be thinking in the grand scheme og things but then again, nobody could possibly understand how much i take on.
I love movies (the good ones) like 'Taken', 'Die Hard' and the ones like 'The shawshank redemption' and 'Forest Gump' etc. My three electives at school are Drama, french and extension history. I also love music. Honestly, i don't know how people get by without it. Music always seems to be there when no one else is.
I never thought about blogging before until i saw this movie where it seemed to help her get her message across, not that i have a direct message. But if i did have a message, i'd have to go with this one. "Give you're parents a break every now and again, they're doing the best they can."
3 years ago i was sitting at home with nothing to worry about. I had my best friend who i could always count on and my mum was more relaxed and my dad wasn't so worried about the simplest things. 3 years ago i had the ability to actually say the word "No".
As the years have passed these things have seemed to evaporate just like those perfect summer days where the weather it just perfect.
Fast forward 3 years....
My so called 'best friend' is an underage alcholic and my parents have never been so uptight, and as for me, well, i'm just trying to get it right.
I am in the public speaking class, debating, choir, school musical, SRC and the school magazine. It's not exactly that i like to be in all these things. For one, i simply do not have the time, but when those teahers come and ask me to sign up, i just nod and say yes when i should have said no. It's genetic, and it's kinda weird, considering i am a drama student (and quite a good one if i may be so bold to add) and i can't think of one excuse to get myself out of the tricky corner before i sign the contract.
I'm in grade 9 and i suppose it's pretty young to be thinking in the grand scheme og things but then again, nobody could possibly understand how much i take on.
I love movies (the good ones) like 'Taken', 'Die Hard' and the ones like 'The shawshank redemption' and 'Forest Gump' etc. My three electives at school are Drama, french and extension history. I also love music. Honestly, i don't know how people get by without it. Music always seems to be there when no one else is.
I never thought about blogging before until i saw this movie where it seemed to help her get her message across, not that i have a direct message. But if i did have a message, i'd have to go with this one. "Give you're parents a break every now and again, they're doing the best they can."
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